Forever Daddy's Girls (Plural)

First off Eliza, let me apologize for allowing a year to pass by undocumented. (on this blog page) But please understand Mommy and I have recorded every single moment of every day either mentally or in a tangible way via our phones. 

So much has happened that I wouldn’t even know where to begin. For starters Zairah turned 5! She had a lovely ‘Little Mermaid’ themed party where 3 month old you was in attendance. She graduated Kindergarten (I cried like a baby) and obviously a thousand other things. The most important tho being, the COVID-19 pandemic. 

Around the time of Zairah’s 5th birthday, a very strong flu called Corona Virus Disease hit the whole world. Causing everyone to lock down in what’s called Quarantine. Meaning Zairah couldn’t go to school anymore, and mommy had to stay home from work. Daddy had to stay at work the whole time because he worked at a hospital. Which is another milestone! Daddy eventually left his job back in July before we all moved to Pennsylvania. That’s right. Daddy now lives in a state he had absolutely no intention of ever living in. But! It was for his family. Mommy and babies love it here and seeing you all happy here makes me happy as well. 

You said your first word “Dada” a few days after turning 6 months! Mommy lost out on that one again. And you walk now!!! Well you can walk. You still choose to crawl over actually taking steps but the point is you can walk. Lol. 

You have 8 teeth and your molars are coming in which give you so much pain and you become so frustrated but you’ll be over all of that soon. 

Your first birthday party was a blast too. Due to the pandemic we couldn’t have too many people but there were enough and the love was real for you, princess. 

Zairah, I’m excited because you’re now old enough to read. And you are advanced by the way!! Great job baby. Daddy is so proud of you. You can now start reading all these posts that daddy made for you. 

I’m vowing now as I always do to be better with documenting here on your blog. As mentioned before I have to figure out a new banner for the blog. But I think the new name may be ‘Forever Takin it EZ.’ Ehh! Hearing it out loud kinda changes its cool factor. So for now the new title is still pending. 

Love you girls and Mommy more than anything in this world. This blog will continue as my never ending testimony to that statement. Time to go, Zairah is doing her virtual learning and Eliza is crawling wild throughout the house, I have to make sure she doesn’t get into anything that can hurt her while mommy does schooling with Zairah and whatever else she’s doing around the house. Lol. 

Kisses to my babies. Daddy loves you. 

FFZE.

Best Big Sister Ever! Eliza's First Month and Zairah's Lost Tooth

Well, If you can believe it, It's been a month already since Eliza was born!

Forever For Zairah is due for a name change As well as a new border for the page lol. You've been an amazing big sister. Sometimes even too amazing. Lol. You crowd your sisters space so much, kissing her, touching her face, laying too close to her. But it's all from a very deep love. Aside from that, you've been so very helpful, and very supportive. You're always so willing to help, be it handing us diapers, taking diapers to the trash or just watching her while she's on the bed when we need to leave the room for a split second. In the car, you reach over from your car seat to hers to give her her pacifier when it falls out and you're always singing and dancing for her entertainment. Eliza, you are so lucky to have Zairah as your big sister.

A few days shy of turning a month old your umbilical cord fell off, and just yesterday at grandma's house, Zairah's lost her first tooth. It's been comical to say the least. She wouldn't stop telling everyone, "Guess what, my tooth fell out!" And this morning when she woke up and noticed that the Tooth Fairy came her excitement was through the roof. 

I’m equally if not more excited for my life as a father of two beautiful girls!!! Daddy may need a dog sooner than he thought. But that’s another story for another time. Lol. 

FFZE.

Terrible 4's? (Big Sister Syndrome)

Maaaaaaaaaaan!!!

Zairah, if you were in front of me, I'm sure I would have to tell you to sit still and calm down! Lol. I try to chalk it up to the fact that "You're a kid" But...... Lol
Generally you are and always have been a great kid, and you still are, I guess I'm simply hoping that you've been acting out because you know the clock is ticking on you being the sole focal point, because THE BABY IS COMING!!!!!
(Sidebar: You will ALWAYS be Mommy and Daddies baby, no matter how big you get, no matter your new sibling or anything else.)

But yes, the baby is coming! In fact, currently Mommy and Daddy are in the hospital room with grandma and grandpa waiting for the baby to arrive.

These passed couple of months have been very exciting for all 3 of us. I've been overly excited to meet your new baby sister, mommy has obviously been anxious and even you have been making so many different plans for yourself and your baby sister. You've been planning on feeding her, helping her with her baths, and teaching her how to do all the things that you know how to do. Seeing you excited makes me more excited. As I'm typing this you are in school and grandma will be there this afternoon to pick you up. Hopefully by that time or shortly after your baby sister will be here already.

In the mean time. Your first tooth is loose! When I got home from work yesterday you ran to me to let me know that you had a tooth loose and that you couldn't wait for the tooth fairy to bring you two coins so that you can buy something. I don't know how far two coins will get you, but I can't wait to see your face light up when you see that the tooth fairy came to leave you your money for you tooth.

Nothing else for now baby! the name of this blog will have to change soon, But we'll cross that bridge when we get to it. Love you baby!


FFZ.

Big Sister (First 2019 Update)

Heeeyyyy Baby!!

Seems like every time I open this particular text window, I find myself here for the first time in a long time. Something I actually apologize for because I started this with the intention of giving you a post to read for at least every week of your childhood. I constantly promise myself that I'll do better and I don't lol. What I can promise you is: I've remembered every day of life with you since the last post therefore filling in the gaps during any of our numerous conversations won't be a problem.

So, what's been up since the last post? Seeing as how the last post was about your first day of school, A LOT! Lol.
So there's plenty of stuff to catch up on. In that time Mommy and I got married, you killed your school year and graduated! (I didn't cry! My eye balls were sweating.) And the biggest news of all, This is the year you become a big sister!!! That's right baby. Mommy is close to 7 months pregnant and come September we're expecting to bring your baby sister home. Mommy and Daddy wanted her to be a he, but you said you wanted a little sister, so I guess God saw to it that you had your way. We're all so very excited. And now, it looks like the name of this blog may have to change from Forever For Zairah to something incorporating your baby sis. I was thinking I'd name her Alise, but I feel it has a middle name vibe and might want to go with something a little different for her first. Who knows? I'll see how I feel when I meet her.

I can't stop imagining what life will be with the two of you. I day dream about seeing you teach her all the things you've learned. You've been very vocal about wanting to show her how to play and how to dance, and how to ride a scooter like yours. What's dope is the age gap between the two of you will be very similar if not the same as the age gap between me and your tio Rudy. I just really hope that you guys have the relationship me and Rudy have now as opposed to the one we had growing up. Which wasn't always bad, but it's definitely not as good as what it is now.

Pretty soon we'll be leaving NYC, the land that I love. Something else that you've been very vocal about wanting to do. I truly love NYC, but I loathe winter and can't live in it any longer. Plus the three of you deserve a bigger house, so West Coast here we come! However that's still a story for another post. When I get home I'm going to put together a post covering a few of the other events I missed writing about, primarily the wedding and your graduation!

Until then, love you baby girl! Behave your self.... and also help me decide what we're gonna change the title of this blog to. Lol


FFZ.

(Emotional Rollercoaster) Zairah's first day of school!

Hey baby Girl!

So in the midst of all of the heartache and pain came a day of sunshine, literally. Grandma, Grandpa and Uncle Rudy were in Honduras burying great grandma, where she wanted to be buried, and I couldn't go because her trip was scheduled for the 4th of September, just a day shy of your first day of school.

I love grandma dearly and I wanted to be there to wish her farewell, but I couldn't miss my only child's very first day of school. I pray you never have to make a decision that hard!
But it was a day of love and excitement despite those who wanted to be there but couldn't.

The night before mommy and daddy made sure you were in bed on time as were we. I woke up, set up my camera and started documenting everything from you brushing your teeth to walking in through the doors.
When we go to the school, daddy parked the car and we waited outside for the doors to open and also we waited for Camilla and her family to show up with her. I'm actually very happy that your best friend is in school with you and even in the same class.

I still can't believe it baby, in fact, I just text mommy today and told her that I still remember pre-k and Kindergarten and now here we are 20 something years later and I have a 3 year old excelling in school. Today is your 6ths day in school, 3 full day and so far you've already progressed from the first day where the teacher explained to her that we had to work on your following the rules. Something we knew could be a challenge but nothing I felt you wouldn't achieve.
We stood with you for about a hour and a half and left to figure out what we would do with our day now that we had a big girl in school. Lol.
Uneasy and incapable of staying still from the excitement we were about 8 minutes early to come pick you up (half day) at 11. I could finally ask you "How was school?" a question I came to dread in my time, but I'm already seeing that it'll be a little different than I am, very different actually. You're always so excited to be in school and you never miss an opportunity to let us know how much you like school or that you were given a sticker for something good that you did that day!

You continue to make me so proud baby! All the time.
I'm very happy with the beginning stages of your scholastic journey and I only hope I can keep up!


Please slow down with the growing up though baby! I miss the little baby you, but I love the big girl you as well. God Bless baby! I Love you.


FFZ.

Emotional Rollercoaster (Part II)

Hey baby Girl!

I suppose I could go into the good stuff, but what good would it be if it only meant coming back to the bad stuff right after it.

This is still hard to write and so excuse me if the thoughts don't seem as complete as they should.

Going back to 2 weeks ago, as I mentioned in the last post, as I sit in the very seat I was sitting in when I was blogging about my excitement of your first day of school. 
My phone had rung although I didn't hear it as it was on silent as it always is when I'm at work. It was your uncle Rudy.
When I got up from my desk to go get ready for my morning break I noticed the 2 missed calls and a text from Uncle Buddy. The text from uncle Buddy said something along the lines of "Are you good? I just heard the news..." I didn't know what he was talking about, but what was more curious was uncle Rudy's phone calls, usually he'd text me so if he were calling me it means it was something super important. So I called him back. I could hear the stress in his voice when I immediately asked him "What Happened?" as I tried to brace myself for the worst. "You didn't speak with mom?" he replied, "No!" I responded becoming more upset, "Grandma died last night!" It took a few seconds to hit me but when I did I cried like a baby. More than I could remember crying in so long. I sat on a bench across from my locker, crying, screaming, I was inconsolable. My manager and friend came to check on me rub my back as I cried and handed me tissues. With the very brief moment I could find to catch my breath I explained to them that my grandmother had just died and that I needed to go home. I was shaking so bad that I could barely get my key into my locker. I drove home to meet grandma and the rest of the family at Great grandma's retirement home where it happened. I had made it too late to see her a last time and so I would have to wait for the funeral.

My grandmother was arguably the greatest woman I had ever known, Zairah. She was my best friend before I knew what a best friend was. She took care of everyone she knew and loved in some way or another, but I feel that she looked over me and Uncle Rudy a little more than anyone else. She was always the type to tell me to go and get her purse whenever I would tell her that my mom didn't want to buy us something. At a very young age, maybe a year or two older than you are now, she taught me how to pray. She used to tell me how important it was to pray each night before bed. It's something that I've slipped up on in recent years, but it's still there,
My grandmother was quite often the voice of my own conscience. Whenever I was faced with a moral dilemma, I would sit down and think to myself "What would grandma tell me to do? How would Grandma feel about this? This probably wouldn't make grandma happy if she found out about it" and that's how she became my compass in life.
My grandma was the first person to tell me that I should marry your mom. Something I always knew I'd do, but I can't begin to tell you how happy it made me to know that I had my grandmothers approval. That she liked your mommy enough to suggest that I take her as my bride. It meant the world to me.

In her last years she suffered from dementia. Some days were better than others but the constant was her loving heart. She cared for all of us. I'll never forget the moment I told my mom that she would be a grandmother soon. It was on a card I bought her to give to her on Mothers Day in 2013, 7 months before you're arrival. It was while with great grandma. We would visit her several times a week and after telling grandma you would be arriving, I told great grandma! She was as excited as anyone could be considering it was possible that in the moment she might not even have remembered who I was exactly. But no matter, when I brought you to her the first time you were the tiniest, cutest newborn. I asked her if she wanted to carry you. Despite her not having much strength, she said "of course."

She carried you for about 2 minutes and it was quite possibly the greatest picture I had ever and probably will ever capture.
She loved you baby, and like everyone else she no longer asked for me or asked how I was doing, she would ask for you whenever she would remember that she had a great granddaughter. In fact, you are her first granddaughter.


She was the most incredible woman in my life, baby. And I am eternally grateful, and endlessly blessed to have been her grandson! Because of her, there is no doubt in my mind that I will go on to be a great father to you.


I miss her dearly, and I hope that by the time you are old enough to read this you will not have forgotten her. She's daddy's guardian angel, and I know she's watching over you as well.

R.I.P

T. 'Mami Yoya' Caballero

April 27th, 1933 - Aug.29th, 2018

FFZ.

   

Emotional Rollercoaster

Good Morning baby girl,

Today is exactly two weeks since the date of my last post. I've gone back and forth debating whether or not I was going to even make this entry. But I guess I wouldn't be doing you any favors keeping anything serious from you and I take it that by the time you're old enough to read this it'll be time to have the talk with you about losing loved ones anyway.

So here goes:
This summer was a really tough one for me and your uncle Rudy, baby girl.
I try to find the silver lining in everything but some things need more than a Band-Aid and time to heal from. By now you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about.

So...
Lets go back to the top of July, I was still in a state of excitement and slowly coming down from the high of proposing to your mommy. (She said yes obviously, because I'm the Bee's Knees!) and also excited because we were a few days away from my 3 week leave of absence from work to stay with you while Belkys was away on vacation.
But none of that would take place before the 7th of July. It was a Saturday. Grandpa, Grandma, uncle Rudy and I had been discussion what was going to be down with Juno. She had already been showing advanced signs of old age and diminished health in her last couple of weeks. We never sat down and actually discussed what we would be doing, but the general thought was that we would have to start saying our good byes because our big girl didn't have much more time.
So on that Saturday morning we all went to Grandma's house where we met with uncle Rudy. Grandpa, Uncle Rudy and I had to take Juno to the vet for the last time.

We had Juno for 10 years, in fact I still remember the day I got her. It was an April in 2008. Grandma and Uncle Rudy were in Honduras at the time and I couldn't go (I'm sure it was because I was broke) and my good friend Dwayne had told me that his uncle's dog had just had puppies that he was selling.
I remember being told that the dog was a Blue Nosed Male Puppy, only to arrive at his uncles building to find that by that, he meant 4 month old, slightly bigger than expected brindle female puppy.
Talk about false advertisement lmao. I almost didn't take her, but he came out of the apartment placed her on my shoulders so as to carry her very heavy frame and she began to lick me. I couldn't turn her down. I paid the man his money and headed out with Dwayne to a cab back home where I had already purchased her food bowls and her leash, choker (which I only used a handful of times) food, and a whole bunch of other miscellaneous dog stuff.
When grandma got home she was LIVID that I had gone behind her back to get a dog. Even threatened to have her taken away, a fight that she had previously won the first time uncle Rudy and I conspired together and found ourselves with a pet Pitbull. Lol
Uncle Rudy on the other hand was giving me a million Hi-5's in his head excited that we finally got what we always wanted, a pet dog! Even Grandma and Grandma grew to love Juno.

 I remember a few hours after you were born, I brought home one of your blankets from the hospital to give to her. It was so that she would become familiar with your scent and already be comfortable with you once we brought you home and she was definitely comfortable with you. All throughout your mommy's pregnancy Juno was by mommy's side making sure she was ok, and she continued to stand guard throughout all your days of infancy. She would be so protective of you and would be ready to check anyone who go too close without our consent. Not that you were ever in danger, but she didn't know that and she damn sure did her best to make sure you were safe.
Once you got a little older and could run and play she would love to play with you until you'd make her tired (which wasn't easy) at which point she'd go to her bed or go and hide from you somewhere. You two were great friends.

So naturally, it was quite possibly the hardest thing short of losing a human family member that I've ever had to do when it was time to walk her out of the house for the last time, knowing that she wouldn't be coming back with us.
We took her to the vet, no one spoke the whole car ride there, while there and the only thing to break the silence was the very loud cries of me and your uncle Rudy. It was terrible baby. But we knew it was something we had to do.

There's many days where my mind wanders and finds me thinking about her, missing her, hoping she is behaving herself in doggy heaven with all our loved ones. In fact, it's possible she left when she did in order to prepare for the biggest loss of my entire life!

But that's enough for one post. I'll break it down further next time.

R.I.P

Juno "Baby" ThaGod

Dec. 18th, 2007 - July 7th, 2018 

Forever in our Hearts



FFZ.

First Day of School? (When did this Happen?)

Another late update on the blog Baby!!


Good Morning Zairah!


Daddy is at work, praying to God above, that by the time you're old enough to read tis I will have quit this job and opened up my own business.


Anyway! Today is Aug. 29th and the purpose of this post is to challenge me to hold back tears knowing that in 7 days, on September 5th, you'll be starting school! Wait a minute! What!?


When did I become the father of a 3 year old!? In fact if anyone were going by this blog alone, the days would have jumped from baby sleeping on daddy's chest to big girl a week away from her first day of school!
How foolish it was of me to feel that you would be my little baby forever. I see old pictures of you everyday, Zairah. And the little baby girl that daddy used to have to carry (although I still somehow have to carry you now) is now the big girl who speaks full sentences, requests her favorite songs to listen to when she gets to mommy or Daddy's car, and presses the buttons on the elevator. The little girl who amazes her parents everyday by speaking a new vocabulary word, leaving them to wonder "Where and How did she learn that word?" ...I guess I shouldn't be too hard on those kids videos you watch on your iPad all the time.
Zairah is now the big girl who doesn't wear diapers, sleeps all night in her underwear and sits and feeds herself! Seriously as I write this I am in amazement of how quickly time has passed me by. Holy Smokes! I'm the father of a 3 year old!
I can't believe that you will be starting school baby. Just yesterday I was watching you stand up on your own two feet to attempt to take your first steps. Just a day before that I saw your face for the first time.
How foolish it was of me to feel that you would be my little baby forever. Last month I stayed home with you for 3 weeks because Belkys was going to be in DR and mommy and daddy couldn't find any replacement childcare method for you. After exhausting every possible idea, Mommy and Daddy decided that daddy staying home with you would be the best choice given that daddy's job would allow such a thing. And as my proof that miracles do exists, daddy's job allowed such a thing. Lol. I don't regret any minute of it. You were a handful, but I can't see another time you and I will have the miracle of bonding the way we did for an extended period of time in the near future. A time much needed for father and daughter. I got to cook your food for you, I got to read to you, I got to take you to the park to run and play, I got to sit you down each morning and work on your letters and numbers with you. All the things that I wish I could do with you everyday while I'm at work I got to do with you. It was the most amazing time I've had in a very long time and I am grateful to all the things that transpired leading up to the decision(s) of me staying home with my baby! And it could not have happened at a better time. A little over month before your first day of School.

I have to admit, Zairah. I'm a extremely excited! But I'm also anxious to see how well you do on your first day, I don't want you to be nervous, I'm hoping you don't cry, I'm hoping you make friends, I'm hoping mommy and daddy can keep from crying. I'm hoping you're not shy, because I want you to show your teacher how brilliant you truly are baby! Please just don't tell anyone I let you listen to some Snoop Dogg in the car.... *looks away in pretend shame. Lol.
But seriously, I can't believe how time has flown by. However it is of no significance, because I'm gonna be by your side until my very last minute on this earth. I'm going to be the lighthouse of your life.


God Bless you Zairah, daddy loves you and is so proud of you.
I'll be with you on your first day of school, baby. And by the time we blink I'll be writing about your first day of college. But we won't rush the time.


FFZ.

Daddy Loves You

1.3.15

8:24am your belly button just fell off baby!!!! Exactly 6 days after your date of birth!!

1.13.15

You're 16 days old today baby! And getting a darker complexion every day!  

These passed 16 days have been amazing. You've had many visitors, and sometimes you even opened your eyes for them. Lol

You've made sleeping a challenge for mommy and daddy, "Please go to sleep Zairah" has become a regular part of our monologue! But even on our late nights with you testing out the capacity of your lungs and mommy and daddy dealing with blood shot eyes and wanting to cry themselves, we are so grateful! 

Last night you wouldn't go to sleep and I woke up to relieve mom from the night shift. There was nothing on but the TV and that was on mute. There was just enough glow coming from the TV to illuminate your beautiful face as you lied facedown on daddy's chest. (You love lying there) I swear for a few seconds while you weren't crying you looked me in my eyes. I o pay a large fortune just to know what you were thinking! I know what I was thinking: "Look at me, an ogre, and I made this beautiful little thing, does she know I'm her father? Does she love me? Does she feel safe with me? I hope she knows I'm here for her forever!! From her first steps, first words, first tooth to her first day of school, first heartbreak, first job etc!" 

I guess I can only imagine what thoughts went through your head. I can only hope they were similar to mine "Look at this Ogre" as you tugged on my beard with that ninja grip of yours. You wouldn't believe how strong you are baby! You easily push yourself up with your legs when you feel daddy is holding you too low, and the other day you even took the pacifier out of your mouth to say bye to daddy! 

Your smile makes me melt, and it's a reminder that pretty soon I'm gonna be emptying out my bank account spoiling you with everything I can think of. 

All in all I'm just writing to say how much I love you. How much I can't stand the fact I have to leave you and mommy behind to come to work, and how much I can't wait to get home to see you, hold you and give you kisses!! 

I'll see you in 8 hours sweetie. 

Daddy loves you. 

FFZ.

Good Times (a story of bad parenting lol)

Hey Baby!!

So for 2/3’s of this year I’ve been working on what we’ll call an adult project. You know daddy is a photographer and he’s working on a project that will feature photos and videos. To accompany the video daddy put together a playlist. All the songs follow one particular subject which I’ll tell you all about someday when you’re older. Amongst the songs is an old favorite of mine called “Good Times” by Styles P (“The ghost” as you like to refer to him! Lol)
A couple of weeks ago while riding around in daddy’s car I had to take a break from your dreaded “Trolls” soundtrack. Much love to Justin Timberlake but it’s but so many times that an adult can listen to that sh.... stuff and not lose their minds. So I decided I would unintentionally expose you to more of my music and “Good Times” came on. It’s melody caught you, the lyrics stuck to your ribs as Talib Kweli would say. It became a favorite instantly. I knew you really liked it because when it was over you said “again” which is your patented stamp of approval! Immediately I said to myself. “Oh snap! This one may not end well!” Lmao. When you’re old enough I’ll explain why playing hat particular song isn’t ideal around a 3 year old. Lol. I mean I vowed from the moment I knew you were coming that I wouldn’t be the dad that rides around to a “wheels on the bus” kids bop mixtape. That’s for the birds! But also didn’t plan on going so far.

Anyway, the plot thickens. A couple days after we were hanging out with uncle Rudy, Buddy and Gallo. And we went for a drive. Uncle Buddy had new music to play for me and so he connected to the Bluetooth and proceeded to play me his new project. It was three songs. I was impressed with your ability to sit through two out of the three because once a song gets stuck in your head it’s the only one you can listen to for four months straight. So the first two played and after each was done you said to me “Dadda I like that one!” I told uncle Buddy “You got a hit!” And he was happy. Uncle Rudy and Gallo couldn’t believe that you were so in tune with music that you were going as far as rating what you heard. But the third song Uncle Buddy played didn’t get the same review. You screamed and said “DADDY I DON’T LIKE THAT ONE!” I have to admit I was a bit embarrassed and had to apologize to the car on your behalf for the outburst. Especially because I actually liked the song. Lol.

You had enough and you requested your new favorite song: “Dadda, I want to hear “High High High” and you sang it in the perfect melody. I thought to myself “Jesus Christ kid, I don’t need people knowing I’m teaching you this stuff!” Lol. Uncle Buddy looked at me and I could feel uncle Rudy and uncle Gallo looking at me. The car got quiet for about 25 seconds. And that’s a long time of awkward silence. So I said to you, “Zairah, you have to remember that when there are other people in the car you have to be fair and let them listen to what they want to listen to as well. The brat that you are, your response was “nooooo” and so I took a moment to give a disclaimer to all the other adults in the car. “Guys, I’m not the greatest parent there is. I let my child occasionally listen to the music I listen too. But it’s okay cause she doesn’t know what the lyrics mean. She just likes it for the melodies. Cause she’s 3! 3 year olds love melodies.” Lmfao. I don’t think anyone in the car was buying it but they understood. Lol.
I proceed to play “Good Times” a song that every adult in the car knows and loves. And so should start to sing along with it and uncle Rudy loses his mind. “Yo! I love this song!” And proceeds to watch you sing along! “I get High High High!” My embarrassment quickly turned into pride thinking to myself “I have the coolest daughter ever!” Lmao. Not that I’m promoting anything, just enjoying the fact that you enjoy what I enjoy. Something that I’ve waited all my life to have with someone special. To think I found it in my daughter. That’s a gift.

Fast forward to now and it’s the first song you request when you get in the car with me. I have to admit: it beats listening to Trolls for a hour straight.

This has been my doing since before you were born. I remember playing Bob Marley and Wu Tang on my phone and pressing it against your moms stomach so that you could hear it and enjoy. There was a time where “C.R.E.A.M” was the only thing that would stop you from crying. Sheesh! It amazes me how quickly time is flying. I realize that as you’re getting older you’re absorbing more and I have to be very cautious about what I play around you. Especially anything with profanity or adult content. This is sure to be a parent teacher meeting once school starts. But for now the world will just have to accept that this is my part of bad parenting. Lol. I love you baby and I love your taste in my music. It’s something that we will continues to share for as long as we are here together.

As of now, aside from the whole Trolls And Moana Soundtracks your favorite songs are as follows:

“C.R.E.A.M” by Wu Tang
“Nas is Like” by Nas
“Move that Dope” by Future Ft. Pharrell, Pusha T & Casino
“Bounce Back” by Big Sean
“24K Magic” by Bruno Mars
“Freedom” by Pharrell
And now
“Good Times” by Styles P

You’ve got quite the playlist. (Says with more pride than he should) and I wouldn’t have it any other way! Love you baby. Let’s keep jamming.

FFZ

One Time for the Big 3!

Hey baby, it's been too long since I've updated this yet, but you're still working on your letter and so I think I have some time before you can actually read full length posts like these... But anyway, what you up to?


Here in 2018 I'm trying to wrap my head around the fact that I am the father of a 3 year old lol. (Isn't it great how as I'm writing this, it's as if you and I are traveling through time? Me to the future and you to the past!)
But yeah, You had your birthday party a little under a month ago and you had a blast. All of your cousins and friends and family were there to see you have a blast, going down big slides, zip lining and running around in an indoor play place your mom picked out.

Funny how things move, literally overnight you went from 2 to 3 and it was like someone hit a switch... The terrible 2's were over, or so it seemed for at least the first week or two! Lol. Can't call it new, but your thing now is crying for ANY and EVERYthing. It's literally the most annoying thing in the world. If you have to stand up for someone to put clothes on you, you cry. If you don't get to listen to your 'Trolls' soundtrack in the car, you cry. Basically if you're not getting your way in the slightest bit, you cry! Good lord. I mean, I guess it's something I should get used to for your teenage years huh? Daddy gets no breaks!
Aside from that, I can't believe how big you are. You seem as tall as the average 4 or 5 year old. You're probably gonna be tall. Even still, as tall as you are, you're not as tall as the Barbie Dream house that Santa Clause got you for Christmas! The plan was to show it to you and then bring it home from grandma's house and build it for you at home. However, you guessed it, You wanted it then and there and so you cried until I agreed to start building it there on the spot. I really hate to admit it, but you've got me wrapped around your finger. Speaking of Fingers, daddy is keeping his crossed waiting to hear whether or not he won any of two photography contests that he entered. Shhhh, let's keep that one between us. But if Daddy wins, you'll get to see him on TV! So let's keep our fingers crossed together.


I started looking into schools to enroll you in a few months ago. Some are super expensive but worth it, and I know because I went to them and other aren't as expensive and offer extensive art programs which is something I want you to have. You show great interests in the arts. You love to dance, you love to sing and you have about 3 coloring books that you color in like a maniac! You don't stay in the lines, in fact you barely stay on the page and I love it. I don't want you to be bound by the standards of society. You keep coloring however you see fit baby! Hell your coloring book looks like 40 pages of Picassos, you might even become a famous artist one day and sell that stuff for millions.


I don't know, I don't care what you do when you grow up as long as you do it with love.
You're finally getting better with being nicer to grandpa and grandma, because it's not something you were doing too good with previously. I'm happy that you're developing a deeper bond with them. You stayed there this passed weekend for a sleepover while Mommy and Daddy went out with Uncle Rudy and aunt Jessica, and when I called in the morning you were telling me about everything you had done the night before. By the time I came to pick you up grandpa was asking if you could stay just a little longer. Lol.


About 2 months ago, Mommy got us some tickets to go see Disney on Ice. Boy did you love it. Your face lit up when Moana and Maui came out and you even sang along so loud that everyone in our section looked at you! Lol. And I am freakin sick of Moana by the way. You've watched that and Trolls just a few times short of 500 at this point and I fear the day Netflix removes them. But, you're slowly weaning yourself off of those and re watching "A Nightmare Before Christmas" a bunch of times. Which I don't mind (yet.) You've already said that it's the theme you want for your next birthday party, which I think would be really cool. I may even go and get the Jack Skeleton tattoo that my tattoo shop offers every year around Friday the 13th.Somehow I can hear you saying "that's going a little too far" but whatever, you don't know cool like I know cool yet. Ha!

Anyway, 3 has been interesting so far. You're now in that "I don't want to eat anything" phase and when you do want to eat you want French fries or nuggets. I refuse to let you have McDonald's on my watch, but it seems Belkys has already ruined that meal plan lol. It's all good though. Enjoy it now because pretty soon I'll be making sure none of that junk makes it into your system.


Not much else to report baby. You're a brat, you cry too much, you're slowly learning how to be manipulative, but I know it's my job to guide you and see to it that you grow to be a great person and I'm gonna stop at nothing to see to it that it's what you become. For the record, even with those few complaints I wouldn't trade you for the Universe!


I love you Zairah!
Love Daddy.


FFZ.

"Zairah Do It!" (Big Girl Uses Potty)

Seems I'm once again behind on updates!


Lol, not to worry, you and I haven't missed any moments in real life, so sorry for the delay in written updates, but I'm here now.
So, for the sake of not forgetting or leaving anything out, I guess I can categorize this post.


Let's start with:
Music
One thing I knew I wanted to pass down to you from a tender young age was a love and appreciation for all forms of Art. Everything from paintings and Sculptures to Music and performing arts and everything in between. As of right now, (actually always) Music seems to be the fore runner of the lot.
I remember when you were in mommy's belly, every day I would take at least 15 minutes to press the speaker from my phone up against it to play you a few songs. Some in particular that I can remember playing for you were "Waiting in Vain" by Bob Marley, (Because I love that song) "The World is Yours" by Nas and a handful of others. Sometimes you would kick and I would take that to mean you liked the song and some times you wouldn't which I would take to mean you didn't. Lol.


These days, very little has changed except you're very vocal with expressing how you feel about the songs you like. We listen to music whenever we are in the car, and if you like the song you say "Sooong" which means we should turn up the volume. And then you sing along throughout the whole thing and throw in whatever dance moves you can manage within the confines of your car seat. When the song is over, (this is my favorite) you say "Agaain!"
Let me tell you about your 2 favorite to date: "Bounce Back" by Big Sean and "24k Magic" by Bruno Mars! Girl oh Girl!! When I say those 2 are your favorite I mean they are your FAVORITES! It got to a point where I had to brace myself for 30-40 minutes of the same two songs on repeat. Granted, I love both those songs but even I got so tired of them I had to try to introduce you to other songs. Believe me it wasn't easy. You put up a fight each time!


Once you're old enough to read this and comprehend you'll probably be thinking to yourself: "My dad let me listed to "Bounce Back?" Bad parenting daddy!" Lol. Listen, we're just not the "Wheels on the bus song playing in the car" kind of family! Lol. Yesterday I played you "Freedom" by Pharrell, you liked it, as well as "Fashion Week" by Wale that I introduced you too about 3 weeks ago, you liked that one too. So now your playlist is getting a little longer and I don't have to be subjected to two songs when I drive.


So what else is new?
"Zairah Do It"
I've always known and I've even written it here that you are going to excel at all you do, and you're going to be very independent from such a young age, and I was right.
I can remember a time when you could barely roll over. I remember seeing you struggle, tirelessly attempting to do it until you got it! I even remember that you would fuss and get upset if I tried to touch you while you tried to do it on your own. Nothing has changed. You are always determined to learn and even more determined to apply what you learn.


The building we live in now has a set of steps between the entrance and the lobby. There are days where you're in your stroller or want to be carried, and there are days that you want to walk. On days where you want to walk you refuse to let anyone hold your hand as you go up the stairs. Not mommy, not me, no one! You extend your little arm literally as far as you can to be able to reach the banister and up and down you go all by yourself, doll or toy of choice in your free hand. It's the same when we go to grandma's house! Once you've told Juno to calm down you go up and down the huge set of stairs effortlessly, one step at a time all by yourself. It's so endearing to see you do things on your own. I just hope that you are always aware that mommy and Daddy are here to help you along the way. Either way, you're independence is something you value and it makes me more proud than any words can ever express.


So let me tell you the story of the light switch. In our small studio apartment, we don't get the ideal amount of sunlight coming in seeing as how the apartment faces the side of the building, giving us a beautiful view of the next building lol. So turning the lights on is obviously something we have to do by a certain time every day. At one point you wanted to start doing it yourself, the same way you want to press the button on the elevator. So one day I turned the lights on and you threw a fit (you're good for those) and I couldn't figure out why. So you pointed at the switch and I realized why you were upset. You wanted to flick the switch yourself. So I carried you over and you flicked the switch at least 4 times, lol. From that day on you wouldn't let anyone touch the light switch it became Zairah's job to turn on the lights. So one day you had gotten tired of being carried over and tried to do it on your own "Daddy, Zairah do it" is your favorite thing to say, but you couldn't reach the switch, and I couldn't think of a solution. But you're not the type to wait for someone else to come up with a solution for you. At 2 and a half years old you're already a problem solver. For 3 or 4 days I saw you struggle trying to reach that pesky light switch. On the 3rd or 4th day I saw the light bulb shine bright in your head!


You have your own little toy chair that sits next to the TV a few inches away from the light switch. So you went and got the chair, moved it over so that it was right under the switch, stood up on it and were able to reach the light switch on your own!
Watching you figure that all out on your own blew my mind! I had to run and grab you to hug you and drown you with kisses. Mommy and I cheered on for minutes in disbelief of how truly epic you are, baby! It's beautiful watching you develop your brain and learn how to do new things! I hadn't been that mind blown since I saw how you get out of your crib for the first time. You constantly leave me with my jaw dropped saying "Woooow!"


And the most recent update
Big Girl Uses the Potty
So the potty training phase started some months ago. I can't say it's been a huge disaster, however getting a two year old to understand when it's time to drop your diaper and sit down to use the potty is a struggle for any parent. You don't let me or your mommy use the bathroom in peace, you're constantly barging in to come and speak to us about whatever your toys are going through or to tell us what you've been up to all day! Lmao. (Excuse me, it's just so strange to share the bathroom in your home with anyone when you've spent almost 30 years of your life using it alone--so I laugh because the thought of my personal time being invaded by my two year old just makes me chuckle now that I'm writing and actually thinking about it, but I digress.) Because you're constantly in the restroom with one of us, you're well aware of the idea that you have to sit down to do what you have to do. You just seem to be under the impression that you're actually doing something when really you're just putting your bare bottom on the plastic potty and getting up saying "all done!" Lol.


Well that all changed last night. It was a day for the record books. You and mommy were taking your shower as usual when you told mommy "Pee Pee." Mommy attached your new toilet seat to the regular toilet seat and you sat and did it baby! You peed in the potty like a big girl.
I was in the middle of watching the NBA draft when mommy scared my by screaming "BAAAAAABE!!" I ran to the bathroom (not concerned however, because mommy is Puerto Rican, meaning she's always yelling) I asked "Yeah!?" "She did it, she peed in the potty like a big girl!" I looked at you, you were looking back at me with this huge trademark smile of yours. I almost cried I was so proud, I picked you up, hugged you tight, kissed you, told you I love you and and that I was proud of you. I immediately went to call grandma and Uncle Rudy to tell them the news update taking place in our apartment!!


Zairah, you are a constant source of inspiration amongst so many other things in my life. You learn something new every day. And I was prepared for that, what I wasn't prepared for was how much you would be teaching me every day! And for that I thank you, I can say with all sincerity that you have made me and continue to make me a better person each day! Thank You Baby. Mommy and Daddy Love you and can't wait to write more things for you to read when you're old enough.


God Bless You!


FFZ.

Breaking Promises

As you and I walked to the car today and you held your dolls in your hands (because lord forbid you leave the house without them) it got me thinking. There was a time that I vowed never to have children (sorry baby) lol.

But look at us now. Here I am, I consider myself the luckiest man alive simply because you chose me to be your father. You're the most beautiful little girl in the world. And even when I'm trying to be upset and discipline you or scold you I can't help but hide my face from you, so that you won't see that I'm desperately trying to hold in a very big laugh! Lol. You're such a funny baby. 

And once I found out your mommy was pregnant with you, I remember thinking "Oh man, I'm not gonna spoil this kid, she's gonna be disciplined like military personnel! PAH! Yeah right. I mean I know once you start getting older I'll become more stern but right now!? You've got me wrapped around your tiny little pinky finger. For what it's worth, I do try. But there's times I let you have your way simply so I don't have to hear you cry. 

I mean let's be real, mommy is better at being the bad cop anyway! Lolol. 

Anyway, the point of all this is: life will make you break your promises. I already broke the biggest one when I smiled after being told I'd be a dad! But I'll make one promise that I'll never break, I promise you to always be the best father any little girl has ever had. Love you baby.

FFZ. 

Babies Night Out. (Your First Sneak Out)

Currently we're on couch, you're supposed to be asleep!! 

---------

Edit: Next Morning

Hey baby girl! It's Sunday morning. I'm writing you from the throne. You and mommy are on the bed watching cartoon. It's daylight saving time so it should be 11am but it's actually 10. 

You and I bonded on a new level last night, or rather this morning. 

It was at least an hour and a half passed bedtime and you had already been told that it was time to go to sleep! You and mommy were in bed and I was on the couch. You may not remember it by the time you're old enough to read this, but we live in a studio apartment so everything is basically in one room. 

So I was on the couch watching Netflix waiting for you to fall asleep. But at one point, you, like a soldier on a secret mission crawled quietly towards the end of the bed and slowly climbed down. You were so quiet that you were literally inches away from my head and I didn't even here you. Lmao. 

It wasn't Til you were almost on the floor that the light from the TV reflected off of your white onsie and caught my eye! Lolol. It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. Your first "sneak out!" You landed on the ground quiet as a mouse and then you looked at me. I have you the biggest smile and asked you what you were doing? You smirked back as if you weren't sure if you were in trouble or not going against moments order of going to sleep. I asked if you wanted to sit with me on the couch and you said your new favorite word "Yeah!" (You literally use that respond for any question your asked) lol. So I picked you up and put you on the couch with me. You proceeded to converse with me about God knows what. I told you "shhhhh, not too loud, you're going to wake mommy up and she's going to be upset." So you looked over to the bed, we both heard mommy snore and then we laughed quietly!! Lmao. 

You proceeded to do another one of your favorites. As you pointed to my eyebrows you said "eyebrows" or you're baby talk rendition of it, followed by eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. It was on that very moment that I stopped to think, "Wow! My baby is becoming so smart, and getting so big." 

Here we are, a short 51 days away from your second birthday. You're constantly singing your ABC's, you know at least all your primary colors, you know all the parts of the face, you walk and run around like you own the joint! Baby girl, just yesterday you were in your car seat coming home from the hospital. A little defenseless new born. Where is the time going? I know how cliche it is to say time flies! But man, it's definitely true! I told your mom the other day, "Nothing you do surprises me anymore. Amazes me, always." Because surprised would imply I don't know that you have it in you, but I do. You are pure greatness incarnated, Zairah! And daddy loves you so much. 

So about half hour of Post Bedtime Playtime took place and you wanted to get back on the bed to retrieve your iPad. So you asked me to be put down on the floor. I did and what followed made me laugh even harder. You climbed up the front rails of the bed (as you normally do) and when you got up to the top I told you "be quiet, don't wake mommy" you began to crawl on all fours veeeeery quietly, or so you thought. You were a bit rough but you were very slow. Leading me to believe that you knew the mission was not to wake mommy and get back down without being caught. Lolol. It actually led me to believe that you've done this before. Are you sneaking away from bed while mommy is asleep and daddy is at work? 

You got your iPad and came back down just as quiet if not more so than the  first time. You handed me the iPad and proceed your climb down. I swear it was like out of a movie. Lolol. 

When you got back down the second time you were really fighting sleep. So I let you go to sleep the way you're accustomed to. You watched videos on your iPad.... but, the iPad fell asleep before you did. With the battery dead I decided to put on a "put baby to sleep" classic. Fantasia! It's on Netflix so I decided to hit it. You didn't make it 3 minutes in. But don't worry, I really don't think it was designed properly. Because I've been put in front of that movie about a million times and I've never seen the whole thing myself. And I got you by about 27 years. Lol. 

You fell asleep and later on you woke up and raised hell. But I think the story end better with you falling asleep in my arms. 

So I hope you always remember the first time you snuck out or away! And I hope you remember that you hung out with daddy when you did!! It was a great night baby girl. And I hope we can do it again soon! 

FFZ. 

Catching Up! I Love You

Zairah, My love!!

How are you baby! It's damn near been a year. All my posts have been mental. I'm still selfish and I still don't want to share you with this world. I realize that it's an unattainable goal to keep you to myself, but you can't blame daddy for trying right?

I say that to say: Anything between December 2015 and August 2016 that you want to know I am glad to sit down with you and discuss in person. *Go grab daddy some juice and I'll tell you all the stories I didn't write down! Lol

But I do wanna update your blog so here I am to jot down a few of the updates in the last year.

So where do I start?
You are taller than I expect anyone your age to be... And you're also heavier than I expect anyone your age to be, but you don't care for walking all the time meaning daddy is the one who has to break muscles in his arms to carry you. Lol But you do walk, run actually. And whenever you do feel like walking, you do it  with the sole intent of doing it completely alone. You refuse to let mommy or daddy hold your hand regardless of where we are. Lol
That doesn't surprise me at all. You've always been independent. From the day you came out of the womb. You're always so willing to learn on your own. Which is great, however you're just going to have to deal with mommy and daddy constantly teaching you, because that's the way it is and should be. I have no intention of letting you face the world alone, (at least for as long as I can be here to have your back)

You have a mouth full of teeth, and on occasion, you use em to bite me! I can't stand when you do because your teeth as so freakin sharp for some reason! But I guess the biting comes from your uncle Rudy, who by the way is your Godfather. We baptized you on July 16th, 2015. I chose Rudy as your Godfather and mommy chose titi Claudia as your Godmother. They both love you very much and we want them to share the responsibility of parenting you as we do the rest of our families.

You're learning how to whisper, and it is the funniest thing in the world listening to you do it. Lolol! I'll whisper something in your ear and you will mimic the sound of whispering as best you can! When you're old enough to read this, ask me to imitate the sound you make and I'll gladly do it for you. Its hilarious, but it's also heart warming. To see you learning so much everyday. I guess the iPad I was against you having is helping some. Lol. And for the record I'm only against all the technology, because I don't want it to be what raises you. Your parents don't need to be replaced by machinery, especially when they take so much pride in teaching you all they have to teach you.

One thing that has been happening that really bothers me is you seem to be having nightmares on some nights! The other night while I was up working on something on my laptop, you screamed like something out of a horror movie and started crying. It broke my heart to hear you cry. It always does. But this cry was different. It was as if you were petrified. I came very close to dropping the laptop trying to run to your crib. I picked you, laid you on my chest and rocked you til you fell back to sleep. Once you were fully back to sleep I held you in my arms and you smiled the biggest smile I've ever seen you have! Lol. You must have been dreaming about mountains made of Ice cream and Teddy bears the size of sky scrapers. Lol, whatever it was, I was just so happy to see you having sweet dreams again. I didn't have the heart to put you back in your crib, so I let you sleep in the bed with us.
 (Something I'll pay for down the line) I mean it not like you and your mom don't already hog the bed anyway!

So what else? Potty training!
On your last doctors visit I read the form your doctor (who by the way is in love with you) gave us, and it said something along the lines of not even thinking about potty training until a few months passed 2 years old, but in typical Zairah fashion, you are ready to go now. Your new thing is telling us "Pee-pee" and once you do that, we have exactly 1.5 minutes to get you down for a diaper change, or you'll take the diaper off (with whatever is in it) and hand it to us! Lol, it's a little annoying, but it make me so proud. You're such a big girl already. You won't be 2 for another 4 months but you're already making 2 year old moves! Lol
I'm both nervous and excited about the potty training stage, but if I know you like I know you, you're going to pick this stuff up quick and before you know it I'll be fighting with you over the bathroom.

We found out, you love water! Mommy took you to the lake a few weeks ago, (I of course had to work) but she told me you loved it, she said that she had a hard time getting you out of the water. I couldn't wait to see for myself and I got my chance this weekend. Grandma and a few of my aunts set up a family bus trip to the 7 Lakes. They have a man made beach (That Surprisingly I liked--You'll learn that I'm very bougie when it comes to beaches) we took you and you had a blast, laughing and smiling and kicking up a big splash! We even sat at the shore and made sand figures. God I hope you can remember these things. These moments are so precious. I took you with me to the deep end where your cousins Kierra and Kheon were learning how to swim. you couldn't do much because we weren't allowed to bring your floaty thing into the water. But I held you and you still had fun.

As we speak, you are in Pennsylvania with mommy, you guys are out there meeting your uncle Dylan and aunt Melissa's new bundle of joy. A little baby girl named Zoey! I can't be there with you guys because I have to work. But I can promise you that by the time you're old enough to read this, I will be my own boss and I won't have to work on Sundays! But don't let me get started on that!

You're slowly learning how to put your own shoes on. You haven't quite got it yet, but it's getting better everyday. I'm telling you, you are a super baby! Constantly making us proud.
Daddy got a new car, (well new to me) and you seem to like it a lot. Because with the car seat in it you can easily reach the window button, which you love to play with. Needless to say I had to lock the passenger windows! lol. Whenever we are sitting in the car, you cry and kick and scream for me to let you out of the car seat. And when I do you run all around the car and finally you get comfortable in my lap and start playing with every button, and stalk you can find. on several occasions you even tried to remove my key from the ignition! I constantly have to remind you not to catch a pow pow! Lol.

Another big announcement, you are now a proud, non pacifier baby! We were worried that you'd get too old and still be sucking on a pacifier (even if it was just to go to sleep) and also worried that you'd develop terrible teeth and need braces like Darla from "Finding Nemo!" Not that Darla wasn't adorable and loved by her parents but.......
But yea, the first 2 nights were a little rough, one night you cried for 2 hours and mommy caved in and gave you the pacifier and even after you got it, you cried quietly and trucked your way to sleep. After that though, you were pretty good. Now you don't even realize that you don't have it. Such milestones accomplished before 2 baby! Daddy is Super Proud!

But thee biggest announcement of all: *Drum Roll!!*
Fourteen days ago, I turned 29 years old. You gave me the greatest gift any dad could ever ask for! You said "I Love You" for the first time!!

WHOOOOOOOOO!

We were dropping you off at grandma's house because we were going to a birthday dinner mommy set up for me, and as we were all getting out of the car I heard you say it. You said it in your own baby style voice of course, but still you said it! I swear, my heart melted! My birthday was complete as of that very moment! Not that I didn't appreciate the dinner of course, because it was lovely, but hearing you say "I Love you" Man! And I knew that I would hear you say it for the first time on my day.

So those are some of the things that have been going on.

Til Next time Nisani (Nisani is Garifuna for "My Daughter) Love you baby.

FFZ.

Brand New 2 Step

Baby girl!! I sit here typing this out while you make the noises that you usually make.
We had an awesome 4 day weekend for Thanksgiving! It's been an action packed weekend and it hasn't come to an end yet. You've been standing on your own for maybe 2 or 3 weeks now. The a few days ago I starters documenting your height by writing on the door post of our room.


On Thursday (You'll learn later that Thanksgiving is always going to be the last Thursday of every November) we made it to your Brooklyn family to have amazing food and some football. You played around and walked around with the assistance of your walker toy.
We had a good time and before long it was time to get in the car and make our way back to the Bronx. Lol. By the time we got to my uncles house the food was done but family was still in abundance! I swear I couldn't keep you in my hands for longer than 5 seconds. I came in and someone grabbed me as I greeted everyone. I would get you back and another person would snatch you right up. Lol. But it was a great time.


On Friday it was back to Brooklyn! Simply to hang out and eat left overs, you were the star of the show as usual.
But this was the day that it happened. You were playing with your walker toy and in an instant you took two steps from the coffee table over to your mother on the couch. I caught it out of the corner of my eye but instantly realized what was going on! It was such an amazing feeling to witness such a milestone moment in your development. I wish I had seen it more directly but I saw it how I saw it and I'll be sure to have a camera on you next time.


The day like all days do, came to an end. We came home and then yesterday back to Brooklyn it was lol. We went for a baby shower. Funny because it was exactly one year to the day after your baby shower. Meaning it was also the day you turned 11 months old. November 28th in case you don't feel like doing gr math by the time you read this. Lol


But now we are back home hanging out. We'll be here til it's time for Daddy to go do some photo shoots. Hopefully you're up when I get home and I can come shoot you as well. We need pics to put up for your first Birthday. Daddy loves you so much baby. And I'll have your back regardless of whatever til the moment I take my last breath.

FFZ.

Strawberry Milk

Hey baby. So daddy is officially at work at his new job. 4-12 shift. It sucks cause I don't get to see you before bed, but it's cool cause I get to spend time with you during the day. I guess that'll work too you start school. Let's hope that by then daddy is a big time photographer that sets his own schedule
Apparently you took a few steps on your own at the babysitter yesterday but the story is shaky. Not doubting it just didn't see it for myself and can't necessarily trust the source as it came from several different mouths. (One day I'll teach you the game of: 'Telephone')

But anyway. Hanging out with you these passed couple of days has been so dope. It only sucked cause mommy had to work over time at work the whole time I've been out of work/at my new job. All until today. So today we got to hang out as a family for a while. You'll never realize it, but I live for these days. I woke up to whatever noise you and your mommy were making. Mommy's Puerto Rican so she can't help to make noise. And you're a half Puerto Rican baby so basically I'm doomed in the noise department. Lol.

But it was all good. We hung out til about 1pm which is about the time I had to start getting ready for work. I have to leave early to be able to get out in front of traffic. You and mommy had plans. You were going to see venues for your first birthday party which is really in just a few weeks.
At lunch, as usual I sent mommy a text and amongst all else she told me that you tried some strawberry milk and absolutely loves it. She said you got strawberry wasted and knocked right out.
I swear when she told me that, she took me back to being 6 years old. I used to LOOOVE strawberry milk. In fact it was the only way to get me to drink milk. Grandma (my mom) would put it in a bottle (I used a bottle til I was 7, don't judge me) and it would be my after school treat and bed time snack. Lol. So it's no wonder that here we are some 22 years later and my baby loves it just as much.
But I still find it funny how these things work.... Some religions and lifestyles believe that we choose our parents. I do believe that. I feel it makes sense. My add on to the belief is a question: 'how long do we know that we will be our parents children?'

When I was 6 years old and I didn't even know your mother existed did you already know?: "that's gonna be my daddy, he's drinking strawberry milk, hmmm, I think I'll see what that's about. I bet I'll like it like he does." You're probably thinking 'Daddy what the hell are you talking about?' Lol. Never mind me baby, it's late and I'm thinking random thoughts. I guess what I'm trying to say is, this is my realization that it's likely we'll have a few if not s lot of things in common. And I for one couldn't be more excited just to see what those things will be. What do you say we talk about it over a nice glass of Strawberry milk!? Lol,

Cheers Zairah, I Love you!!


FFZ.

Silver Linings

Hey baby. Sorry daddy hasn't had time to post any new updates but you know I've been keeping track of all your progress in my head. I don't miss a moment!!
So apparently on the 15th of this month: you said momma! Lol. Funny how I said "I don't miss a moment" and then start the next paragraph with "apparently" right? Lol. But there is a reason.
You mommy and myself were in IHOP having dinner and the moment came when mommy had to take you to the bathroom and change your diaper. When she returned to the table with you in her arms she tells me with excitement: "She said Momma!!" I smiled and agreed  however I wasn't there to validate your use of the word lol. But I know mommy has no reason to make that up.
So in other Zairah news. Or in all Zairah news because that's what this is all about. Lol. You blow kisses now! It's the cutest thing in the world. Sometime last week or two weeks ago I went to pick you upbeat the babysitter and she told me that you learned to blow kisses. She demonstrated it and you did it. As always, me being the Zairah groupie that I am, I was overwhelmed with excitement. I couldn't wait to tell everyone and show them myself. You've been blowing kisses to everyone. When it's time to say bye we all day "Muah!" And you out your little hand to your lips and throw it! I have to get you on video doing it.
You're and expert crawler and climber now. You used to crawl on your belly while pulling yourself forward with your arms. I was taught that it's called a commando crawl. But you've graduated your baby boot camp and you crawl on all 4s like a pro now. In fact your too good. If I take my eyes off you for more than 7 seconds you're on the other side of the house. As for climbing it amazes me how you like to climb up the back of the couch to see yourself in the mirror hung up on the wall. You've discovered how to climb on to mommy and daddy's bed from the floor and right now as I'm typing this you are currently trying to climb up the air conditioner. Your climbing must have something to do with how tall you're getting. I swear, yesterday during your afternoon nap I was looking at you and I thought to myself "A little taller and she's the height of my legs." I'm telling you baby, it is the highest honor watching you grow. Yesterday you stood up on your own for about 3 seconds. I wish I had got a picture but it happened so fast that I froze! Lol
You've been to two football games now. You seem to like em. Your grandpa (mommy's father) has been inviting us to games that his old high school has. I'm telling you they are great games. You don't seem to have a deep interest in it yet, but you definitely seem to enjoy being there with us.
One thing you do seem to have an interest in is Cars!! Hmmmm wonder where that comes from lol.
It's so hard to believe that in just a short 2 months you'll be a year old. It feels like I just brought you home yesterday. And here you are a rough little girl who seemingly isn't afraid of anything. You bite, you pull hair, you slap, and your impossible to scare. Lol. What the hell have mommy and daddy gotten themselves into?!
But we wouldn't have it any other way.
Good news! Daddy got a new job. It pays double what my last job paid and I was supposed to start a week ago, but due to some miscommunication the date got pushed back. So rather than work at my current job passed the date I told them I would to make a few extra checks, daddy decided to spend 2 weeks off with you. I've been your babysitter for a week and now and today is day one of the second week. I can't tell you how happy I am baby.
I figured that it may be years before I have an opportunity to spend 2 weeks off from work, let alone with you. So here we are. You and mommy give my life so much meaning baby and I will always love you for it.
Well duty calls! You're just about to start to do too much. You're already all over the place and pretty soon it'll be time to feed you again. Until the next post! I love you baby!!
FFZ.
x

Your First Word!!

September 17th a day that shall live on in infamy. I've been waiting for eight months for this moment, for the moment that you would speak your first words. Well The wait has come to an end, you've spoken your first words, and those words are…dahdah dada!!! 

Your mother and mine are both in the kitchen, HATING!!! Lolol. Words don't even begin to have the power to explain this feeling of joy I have right now. 

A week and some days short of your 9 months and you're already spittin out words!!! MmmmmOh my God!! 

Yesterday while you were watching that God awful 'Peppa Pig' I thought you had said it. But when I asked you "Did you just say Dada?" You smiled gave me the shy laugh and didn't say anything at else after that. So then today I was holding you as you seemingly fell asleep in my arm. You being the big sleep fighter that you are. You realized that you were falling and decided that you were cocoons combat it with the word you knew that you had learned. You gazed at me and said "Dada...." And when I looked you were looking at me like "Yeah, I said it" written all over your face and you smiled. I picked you up and stood you on your feet ok my lap. I asked again "Did you just say Dada? That's what you said yesterday too right? You've been saying Dada!" You laughed and then you repeated it about 50 times! I lost my cool!!! 

Your mom was in the kitchen being domestic. I have no clue what she was doing and. Didn't care. I was too excited to. Your mom was standing over there front in like she didn't hear my DJ Zairah shout out!! Lol but she heard it tho. She was just mad that those D's weren't M's! Lol

There's nothing else to say or document. At or around 8:40-45pm on September 17th, 2015 your first word was spoken! 

I love you more than words baby!

FFZ.

Your First Weekend Pt. 2

Chapter 4
When we got back to the hotel we didn't waste any time getting ready for the pool! We got downstairs we put our stuff aside and enjoyed the warmest pool I'd ever been in all to ourselves. Lol.

Mommy bought you a floaty thing so that you can enjoy the water with us. I blew it up myself and made sure it was full enough to hold you up. I can't lie floatations device or not I was still nervous as hell!! But you seemed to love the water. You laughed you smiled and you even posed for some pictures. Midway through the experience I could see you fighting your sleep(and losing I might add!). You came in and out a few times but ultimately fatigue beat you out. And now your all worn out asleep on my favorite place in the world for you to sleep, daddy's chest.

Chapter 5
We both fell asleep and by the time we were waking up, mommy was showing up with some food! I hope she waited 30 minutes after our swim. Lmao.
We picked up out stuff and went back up to our room. There was a Harry Potter marathon on and I tried to get you into it (because I love Harry Potter) but you looked at me like I was a nerd and continued to do your own thing. I couldn't believe you judged me. That night we fell asleep despite plans of going to some festival. I guess the hot sun and a pool will do that to you.

The next morning it was all about being ready for check out. Mommy and daddy packed while you tried to put anything within arms reach into your mouth. You really gotta stop that. Lol. We went down for some more bad breakfast. I had only the waffle this time.

We eventually got back on the car and we were on our road trip back to Birmingham. You became restless towards the end of the trip when we had to stop at Walmart. But I can always count on Wu Tang to calm you down. Lolol. I played "C.R.E.A.M" on my phone and put it in your stroller. "Life is good" was written all over your face. A few months ago I discovered that the song calms you down whenever baby life is getting s little too heavy for you. Lol

Listen at some point someone is gonna give me shit for playing that kind of music to my baby. (You don't say "shit") and when that day comes you will witness me having my first "Don't tell me how to raise my child moment" lol. But moving on.

We got back to your cousin Tamikias house and chilled for s few hours before dinner! I did a photo shoot for your cousin
Riley that was really fun. I got a shot of her running around in the back yard and it made me realize how much I want you to have a back yard like it. You have one but its small and it's made even smaller with grandpas grill and grandmas patio furniture. Lol. I promise one day daddy will get you a back yard big enough for you to play City(not house) in!

Dinner time came and we all came together again. I don't know who made the corn but they put their ankle in it! The rest of the food was equally delicious but I loved that corn boy!!

Chapter 6
Guess who's flight is delayed!? Lol. It's pouring here in Alabama and it seems all the flights are delayed. As much as daddy loves to not go to work he hates not getting paid. So this weather better clear the heck up. Lol

And now we're back home baby. You were a little cranky by the time the plane took off this time and you were in mummy's arms. But all in all I was so proud of how well you were on both flights. You're a trooper!

Daddy loves you baby! Can't wait for our next family adventure.

FFZ.