Breaking Promises

As you and I walked to the car today and you held your dolls in your hands (because lord forbid you leave the house without them) it got me thinking. There was a time that I vowed never to have children (sorry baby) lol.

But look at us now. Here I am, I consider myself the luckiest man alive simply because you chose me to be your father. You're the most beautiful little girl in the world. And even when I'm trying to be upset and discipline you or scold you I can't help but hide my face from you, so that you won't see that I'm desperately trying to hold in a very big laugh! Lol. You're such a funny baby. 

And once I found out your mommy was pregnant with you, I remember thinking "Oh man, I'm not gonna spoil this kid, she's gonna be disciplined like military personnel! PAH! Yeah right. I mean I know once you start getting older I'll become more stern but right now!? You've got me wrapped around your tiny little pinky finger. For what it's worth, I do try. But there's times I let you have your way simply so I don't have to hear you cry. 

I mean let's be real, mommy is better at being the bad cop anyway! Lolol. 

Anyway, the point of all this is: life will make you break your promises. I already broke the biggest one when I smiled after being told I'd be a dad! But I'll make one promise that I'll never break, I promise you to always be the best father any little girl has ever had. Love you baby.

FFZ. 

Babies Night Out. (Your First Sneak Out)

Currently we're on couch, you're supposed to be asleep!! 

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Edit: Next Morning

Hey baby girl! It's Sunday morning. I'm writing you from the throne. You and mommy are on the bed watching cartoon. It's daylight saving time so it should be 11am but it's actually 10. 

You and I bonded on a new level last night, or rather this morning. 

It was at least an hour and a half passed bedtime and you had already been told that it was time to go to sleep! You and mommy were in bed and I was on the couch. You may not remember it by the time you're old enough to read this, but we live in a studio apartment so everything is basically in one room. 

So I was on the couch watching Netflix waiting for you to fall asleep. But at one point, you, like a soldier on a secret mission crawled quietly towards the end of the bed and slowly climbed down. You were so quiet that you were literally inches away from my head and I didn't even here you. Lmao. 

It wasn't Til you were almost on the floor that the light from the TV reflected off of your white onsie and caught my eye! Lolol. It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. Your first "sneak out!" You landed on the ground quiet as a mouse and then you looked at me. I have you the biggest smile and asked you what you were doing? You smirked back as if you weren't sure if you were in trouble or not going against moments order of going to sleep. I asked if you wanted to sit with me on the couch and you said your new favorite word "Yeah!" (You literally use that respond for any question your asked) lol. So I picked you up and put you on the couch with me. You proceeded to converse with me about God knows what. I told you "shhhhh, not too loud, you're going to wake mommy up and she's going to be upset." So you looked over to the bed, we both heard mommy snore and then we laughed quietly!! Lmao. 

You proceeded to do another one of your favorites. As you pointed to my eyebrows you said "eyebrows" or you're baby talk rendition of it, followed by eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. It was on that very moment that I stopped to think, "Wow! My baby is becoming so smart, and getting so big." 

Here we are, a short 51 days away from your second birthday. You're constantly singing your ABC's, you know at least all your primary colors, you know all the parts of the face, you walk and run around like you own the joint! Baby girl, just yesterday you were in your car seat coming home from the hospital. A little defenseless new born. Where is the time going? I know how cliche it is to say time flies! But man, it's definitely true! I told your mom the other day, "Nothing you do surprises me anymore. Amazes me, always." Because surprised would imply I don't know that you have it in you, but I do. You are pure greatness incarnated, Zairah! And daddy loves you so much. 

So about half hour of Post Bedtime Playtime took place and you wanted to get back on the bed to retrieve your iPad. So you asked me to be put down on the floor. I did and what followed made me laugh even harder. You climbed up the front rails of the bed (as you normally do) and when you got up to the top I told you "be quiet, don't wake mommy" you began to crawl on all fours veeeeery quietly, or so you thought. You were a bit rough but you were very slow. Leading me to believe that you knew the mission was not to wake mommy and get back down without being caught. Lolol. It actually led me to believe that you've done this before. Are you sneaking away from bed while mommy is asleep and daddy is at work? 

You got your iPad and came back down just as quiet if not more so than the  first time. You handed me the iPad and proceed your climb down. I swear it was like out of a movie. Lolol. 

When you got back down the second time you were really fighting sleep. So I let you go to sleep the way you're accustomed to. You watched videos on your iPad.... but, the iPad fell asleep before you did. With the battery dead I decided to put on a "put baby to sleep" classic. Fantasia! It's on Netflix so I decided to hit it. You didn't make it 3 minutes in. But don't worry, I really don't think it was designed properly. Because I've been put in front of that movie about a million times and I've never seen the whole thing myself. And I got you by about 27 years. Lol. 

You fell asleep and later on you woke up and raised hell. But I think the story end better with you falling asleep in my arms. 

So I hope you always remember the first time you snuck out or away! And I hope you remember that you hung out with daddy when you did!! It was a great night baby girl. And I hope we can do it again soon! 

FFZ. 

Catching Up! I Love You

Zairah, My love!!

How are you baby! It's damn near been a year. All my posts have been mental. I'm still selfish and I still don't want to share you with this world. I realize that it's an unattainable goal to keep you to myself, but you can't blame daddy for trying right?

I say that to say: Anything between December 2015 and August 2016 that you want to know I am glad to sit down with you and discuss in person. *Go grab daddy some juice and I'll tell you all the stories I didn't write down! Lol

But I do wanna update your blog so here I am to jot down a few of the updates in the last year.

So where do I start?
You are taller than I expect anyone your age to be... And you're also heavier than I expect anyone your age to be, but you don't care for walking all the time meaning daddy is the one who has to break muscles in his arms to carry you. Lol But you do walk, run actually. And whenever you do feel like walking, you do it  with the sole intent of doing it completely alone. You refuse to let mommy or daddy hold your hand regardless of where we are. Lol
That doesn't surprise me at all. You've always been independent. From the day you came out of the womb. You're always so willing to learn on your own. Which is great, however you're just going to have to deal with mommy and daddy constantly teaching you, because that's the way it is and should be. I have no intention of letting you face the world alone, (at least for as long as I can be here to have your back)

You have a mouth full of teeth, and on occasion, you use em to bite me! I can't stand when you do because your teeth as so freakin sharp for some reason! But I guess the biting comes from your uncle Rudy, who by the way is your Godfather. We baptized you on July 16th, 2015. I chose Rudy as your Godfather and mommy chose titi Claudia as your Godmother. They both love you very much and we want them to share the responsibility of parenting you as we do the rest of our families.

You're learning how to whisper, and it is the funniest thing in the world listening to you do it. Lolol! I'll whisper something in your ear and you will mimic the sound of whispering as best you can! When you're old enough to read this, ask me to imitate the sound you make and I'll gladly do it for you. Its hilarious, but it's also heart warming. To see you learning so much everyday. I guess the iPad I was against you having is helping some. Lol. And for the record I'm only against all the technology, because I don't want it to be what raises you. Your parents don't need to be replaced by machinery, especially when they take so much pride in teaching you all they have to teach you.

One thing that has been happening that really bothers me is you seem to be having nightmares on some nights! The other night while I was up working on something on my laptop, you screamed like something out of a horror movie and started crying. It broke my heart to hear you cry. It always does. But this cry was different. It was as if you were petrified. I came very close to dropping the laptop trying to run to your crib. I picked you, laid you on my chest and rocked you til you fell back to sleep. Once you were fully back to sleep I held you in my arms and you smiled the biggest smile I've ever seen you have! Lol. You must have been dreaming about mountains made of Ice cream and Teddy bears the size of sky scrapers. Lol, whatever it was, I was just so happy to see you having sweet dreams again. I didn't have the heart to put you back in your crib, so I let you sleep in the bed with us.
 (Something I'll pay for down the line) I mean it not like you and your mom don't already hog the bed anyway!

So what else? Potty training!
On your last doctors visit I read the form your doctor (who by the way is in love with you) gave us, and it said something along the lines of not even thinking about potty training until a few months passed 2 years old, but in typical Zairah fashion, you are ready to go now. Your new thing is telling us "Pee-pee" and once you do that, we have exactly 1.5 minutes to get you down for a diaper change, or you'll take the diaper off (with whatever is in it) and hand it to us! Lol, it's a little annoying, but it make me so proud. You're such a big girl already. You won't be 2 for another 4 months but you're already making 2 year old moves! Lol
I'm both nervous and excited about the potty training stage, but if I know you like I know you, you're going to pick this stuff up quick and before you know it I'll be fighting with you over the bathroom.

We found out, you love water! Mommy took you to the lake a few weeks ago, (I of course had to work) but she told me you loved it, she said that she had a hard time getting you out of the water. I couldn't wait to see for myself and I got my chance this weekend. Grandma and a few of my aunts set up a family bus trip to the 7 Lakes. They have a man made beach (That Surprisingly I liked--You'll learn that I'm very bougie when it comes to beaches) we took you and you had a blast, laughing and smiling and kicking up a big splash! We even sat at the shore and made sand figures. God I hope you can remember these things. These moments are so precious. I took you with me to the deep end where your cousins Kierra and Kheon were learning how to swim. you couldn't do much because we weren't allowed to bring your floaty thing into the water. But I held you and you still had fun.

As we speak, you are in Pennsylvania with mommy, you guys are out there meeting your uncle Dylan and aunt Melissa's new bundle of joy. A little baby girl named Zoey! I can't be there with you guys because I have to work. But I can promise you that by the time you're old enough to read this, I will be my own boss and I won't have to work on Sundays! But don't let me get started on that!

You're slowly learning how to put your own shoes on. You haven't quite got it yet, but it's getting better everyday. I'm telling you, you are a super baby! Constantly making us proud.
Daddy got a new car, (well new to me) and you seem to like it a lot. Because with the car seat in it you can easily reach the window button, which you love to play with. Needless to say I had to lock the passenger windows! lol. Whenever we are sitting in the car, you cry and kick and scream for me to let you out of the car seat. And when I do you run all around the car and finally you get comfortable in my lap and start playing with every button, and stalk you can find. on several occasions you even tried to remove my key from the ignition! I constantly have to remind you not to catch a pow pow! Lol.

Another big announcement, you are now a proud, non pacifier baby! We were worried that you'd get too old and still be sucking on a pacifier (even if it was just to go to sleep) and also worried that you'd develop terrible teeth and need braces like Darla from "Finding Nemo!" Not that Darla wasn't adorable and loved by her parents but.......
But yea, the first 2 nights were a little rough, one night you cried for 2 hours and mommy caved in and gave you the pacifier and even after you got it, you cried quietly and trucked your way to sleep. After that though, you were pretty good. Now you don't even realize that you don't have it. Such milestones accomplished before 2 baby! Daddy is Super Proud!

But thee biggest announcement of all: *Drum Roll!!*
Fourteen days ago, I turned 29 years old. You gave me the greatest gift any dad could ever ask for! You said "I Love You" for the first time!!

WHOOOOOOOOO!

We were dropping you off at grandma's house because we were going to a birthday dinner mommy set up for me, and as we were all getting out of the car I heard you say it. You said it in your own baby style voice of course, but still you said it! I swear, my heart melted! My birthday was complete as of that very moment! Not that I didn't appreciate the dinner of course, because it was lovely, but hearing you say "I Love you" Man! And I knew that I would hear you say it for the first time on my day.

So those are some of the things that have been going on.

Til Next time Nisani (Nisani is Garifuna for "My Daughter) Love you baby.

FFZ.