Monday, November 7, 2016

Breaking Promises

As you and I walked to the car today and you held your dolls in your hands (because lord forbid you leave the house without them) it got me thinking. There was a time that I vowed never to have children (sorry baby) lol.

But look at us now. Here I am, I consider myself the luckiest man alive simply because you chose me to be your father. You're the most beautiful little girl in the world. And even when I'm trying to be upset and discipline you or scold you I can't help but hide my face from you, so that you won't see that I'm desperately trying to hold in a very big laugh! Lol. You're such a funny baby. 

And once I found out your mommy was pregnant with you, I remember thinking "Oh man, I'm not gonna spoil this kid, she's gonna be disciplined like military personnel! PAH! Yeah right. I mean I know once you start getting older I'll become more stern but right now!? You've got me wrapped around your tiny little pinky finger. For what it's worth, I do try. But there's times I let you have your way simply so I don't have to hear you cry. 
I mean let's be real, mommy is better at being the bad cop anyway! Lolol. 

Anyway, the point of all this is: life will make you break your promises. I already broke the biggest one when I smiled after being told I'd be a dad! But I'll make one promise that I'll never break, I promise you to always be the best father any little girl has ever had. Love you baby.

FFZ. 

Sunday, November 6, 2016

Babies Night Out. (Your First Sneak Out)


Currently we're on couch, you're supposed to be asleep!! 
---------

Edit: Next Morning
Hey baby girl! It's Sunday morning. I'm writing you from the throne. You and mommy are on the bed watching cartoon. It's daylight saving time so it should be 11am but it's actually 10. 
You and I bonded on a new level last night, or rather this morning. 

It was at least an hour and a half passed bedtime and you had already been told that it was time to go to sleep! You and mommy were in bed and I was on the couch. You may not remember it by the time you're old enough to read this, but we live in a studio apartment so everything is basically in one room. 
So I was on the couch watching Netflix waiting for you to fall asleep. But at one point, you, like a soldier on a secret mission crawled quietly towards the end of the bed and slowly climbed down. You were so quiet that you were literally inches away from my head and I didn't even here you. Lmao. 

It wasn't Til you were almost on the floor that the light from the TV reflected off of your white onsie and caught my eye! Lolol. It was the coolest thing I'd ever seen. Your first "sneak out!" You landed on the ground quiet as a mouse and then you looked at me. I have you the biggest smile and asked you what you were doing? You smirked back as if you weren't sure if you were in trouble or not going against moments order of going to sleep. I asked if you wanted to sit with me on the couch and you said your new favorite word "Yeah!" (You literally use that respond for any question your asked) lol. So I picked you up and put you on the couch with me. You proceeded to converse with me about God knows what. I told you "shhhhh, not too loud, you're going to wake mommy up and she's going to be upset." So you looked over to the bed, we both heard mommy snore and then we laughed quietly!! Lmao. 
You proceeded to do another one of your favorites. As you pointed to my eyebrows you said "eyebrows" or you're baby talk rendition of it, followed by eyes, ears, nose, and mouth. It was on that very moment that I stopped to think, "Wow! My baby is becoming so smart, and getting so big." 
Here we are, a short 51 days away from your second birthday. You're constantly singing your ABC's, you know at least all your primary colors, you know all the parts of the face, you walk and run around like you own the joint! Baby girl, just yesterday you were in your car seat coming home from the hospital. A little defenseless new born. Where is the time going? I know how cliche it is to say time flies! But man, it's definitely true! I told your mom the other day, "Nothing you do surprises me anymore. Amazes me, always." Because surprised would imply I don't know that you have it in you, but I do. You are pure greatness incarnated, Zairah! And daddy loves you so much. 

So about half hour of Post Bedtime Playtime took place and you wanted to get back on the bed to retrieve your iPad. So you asked me to be put down on the floor. I did and what followed made me laugh even harder. You climbed up the front rails of the bed (as you normally do) and when you got up to the top I told you "be quiet, don't wake mommy" you began to crawl on all fours veeeeery quietly, or so you thought. You were a bit rough but you were very slow. Leading me to believe that you knew the mission was not to wake mommy and get back down without being caught. Lolol. It actually led me to believe that you've done this before. Are you sneaking away from bed while mommy is asleep and daddy is at work? 

You got your iPad and came back down just as quiet if not more so than the  first time. You handed me the iPad and proceed your climb down. I swear it was like out of a movie. Lolol. 
When you got back down the second time you were really fighting sleep. So I let you go to sleep the way you're accustomed to. You watched videos on your iPad.... but, the iPad fell asleep before you did. With the battery dead I decided to put on a "put baby to sleep" classic. Fantasia! It's on Netflix so I decided to hit it. You didn't make it 3 minutes in. But don't worry, I really don't think it was designed properly. Because I've been put in front of that movie about a million times and I've never seen the whole thing myself. And I got you by about 27 years. Lol. 

You fell asleep and later on you woke up and raised hell. But I think the story end better with you falling asleep in my arms. 

So I hope you always remember the first time you snuck out or away! And I hope you remember that you hung out with daddy when you did!! It was a great night baby girl. And I hope we can do it again soon! 

FFZ. 

Sunday, August 28, 2016

Catching Up! I Love You

Zairah, My love!!

How are you baby! It's damn near been a year. All my posts have been mental. I'm still selfish and I still don't want to share you with this world. I realize that it's an unattainable goal to keep you to myself, but you can't blame daddy for trying right?

I say that to say: Anything between December 2015 and August 2016 that you want to know I am glad to sit down with you and discuss in person. *Go grab daddy some juice and I'll tell you all the stories I didn't write down! Lol

But I do wanna update your blog so here I am to jot down a few of the updates in the last year.

So where do I start?
You are taller than I expect anyone your age to be... And you're also heavier than I expect anyone your age to be, but you don't care for walking all the time meaning daddy is the one who has to break muscles in his arms to carry you. Lol But you do walk, run actually. And whenever you do feel like walking, you do it  with the sole intent of doing it completely alone. You refuse to let mommy or daddy hold your hand regardless of where we are. Lol
That doesn't surprise me at all. You've always been independent. From the day you came out of the womb. You're always so willing to learn on your own. Which is great, however you're just going to have to deal with mommy and daddy constantly teaching you, because that's the way it is and should be. I have no intention of letting you face the world alone, (at least for as long as I can be here to have your back)

You have a mouth full of teeth, and on occasion, you use em to bite me! I can't stand when you do because your teeth as so freakin sharp for some reason! But I guess the biting comes from your uncle Rudy, who by the way is your Godfather. We baptized you on July 16th, 2015. I chose Rudy as your Godfather and mommy chose titi Claudia as your Godmother. They both love you very much and we want them to share the responsibility of parenting you as we do the rest of our families.

You're learning how to whisper, and it is the funniest thing in the world listening to you do it. Lolol! I'll whisper something in your ear and you will mimic the sound of whispering as best you can! When you're old enough to read this, ask me to imitate the sound you make and I'll gladly do it for you. Its hilarious, but it's also heart warming. To see you learning so much everyday. I guess the iPad I was against you having is helping some. Lol. And for the record I'm only against all the technology, because I don't want it to be what raises you. Your parents don't need to be replaced by machinery, especially when they take so much pride in teaching you all they have to teach you.

One thing that has been happening that really bothers me is you seem to be having nightmares on some nights! The other night while I was up working on something on my laptop, you screamed like something out of a horror movie and started crying. It broke my heart to hear you cry. It always does. But this cry was different. It was as if you were petrified. I came very close to dropping the laptop trying to run to your crib. I picked you, laid you on my chest and rocked you til you fell back to sleep. Once you were fully back to sleep I held you in my arms and you smiled the biggest smile I've ever seen you have! Lol. You must have been dreaming about mountains made of Ice cream and Teddy bears the size of sky scrapers. Lol, whatever it was, I was just so happy to see you having sweet dreams again. I didn't have the heart to put you back in your crib, so I let you sleep in the bed with us.
 (Something I'll pay for down the line) I mean it not like you and your mom don't already hog the bed anyway!

So what else? Potty training!
On your last doctors visit I read the form your doctor (who by the way is in love with you) gave us, and it said something along the lines of not even thinking about potty training until a few months passed 2 years old, but in typical Zairah fashion, you are ready to go now. Your new thing is telling us "Pee-pee" and once you do that, we have exactly 1.5 minutes to get you down for a diaper change, or you'll take the diaper off (with whatever is in it) and hand it to us! Lol, it's a little annoying, but it make me so proud. You're such a big girl already. You won't be 2 for another 4 months but you're already making 2 year old moves! Lol
I'm both nervous and excited about the potty training stage, but if I know you like I know you, you're going to pick this stuff up quick and before you know it I'll be fighting with you over the bathroom.

We found out, you love water! Mommy took you to the lake a few weeks ago, (I of course had to work) but she told me you loved it, she said that she had a hard time getting you out of the water. I couldn't wait to see for myself and I got my chance this weekend. Grandma and a few of my aunts set up a family bus trip to the 7 Lakes. They have a man made beach (That Surprisingly I liked--You'll learn that I'm very bougie when it comes to beaches) we took you and you had a blast, laughing and smiling and kicking up a big splash! We even sat at the shore and made sand figures. God I hope you can remember these things. These moments are so precious. I took you with me to the deep end where your cousins Kierra and Kheon were learning how to swim. you couldn't do much because we weren't allowed to bring your floaty thing into the water. But I held you and you still had fun.

As we speak, you are in Pennsylvania with mommy, you guys are out there meeting your uncle Dylan and aunt Melissa's new bundle of joy. A little baby girl named Zoey! I can't be there with you guys because I have to work. But I can promise you that by the time you're old enough to read this, I will be my own boss and I won't have to work on Sundays! But don't let me get started on that!

You're slowly learning how to put your own shoes on. You haven't quite got it yet, but it's getting better everyday. I'm telling you, you are a super baby! Constantly making us proud.
Daddy got a new car, (well new to me) and you seem to like it a lot. Because with the car seat in it you can easily reach the window button, which you love to play with. Needless to say I had to lock the passenger windows! lol. Whenever we are sitting in the car, you cry and kick and scream for me to let you out of the car seat. And when I do you run all around the car and finally you get comfortable in my lap and start playing with every button, and stalk you can find. on several occasions you even tried to remove my key from the ignition! I constantly have to remind you not to catch a pow pow! Lol.

Another big announcement, you are now a proud, non pacifier baby! We were worried that you'd get too old and still be sucking on a pacifier (even if it was just to go to sleep) and also worried that you'd develop terrible teeth and need braces like Darla from "Finding Nemo!" Not that Darla wasn't adorable and loved by her parents but.......
But yea, the first 2 nights were a little rough, one night you cried for 2 hours and mommy caved in and gave you the pacifier and even after you got it, you cried quietly and trucked your way to sleep. After that though, you were pretty good. Now you don't even realize that you don't have it. Such milestones accomplished before 2 baby! Daddy is Super Proud!

But thee biggest announcement of all: *Drum Roll!!*
Fourteen days ago, I turned 29 years old. You gave me the greatest gift any dad could ever ask for! You said "I Love You" for the first time!!

WHOOOOOOOOO!

We were dropping you off at grandma's house because we were going to a birthday dinner mommy set up for me, and as we were all getting out of the car I heard you say it. You said it in your own baby style voice of course, but still you said it! I swear, my heart melted! My birthday was complete as of that very moment! Not that I didn't appreciate the dinner of course, because it was lovely, but hearing you say "I Love you" Man! And I knew that I would hear you say it for the first time on my day.

So those are some of the things that have been going on.

Til Next time Nisani (Nisani is Garifuna for "My Daughter) Love you baby.

FFZ.

Sunday, November 29, 2015

Brand New 2 Step

Baby girl!! I sit here typing this out while you make the noises that you usually make.
We had an awesome 4 day weekend for Thanksgiving! It's been an action packed weekend and it hasn't come to an end yet. You've been standing on your own for maybe 2 or 3 weeks now. The a few days ago I starters documenting your height by writing on the door post of our room.


On Thursday (You'll learn later that Thanksgiving is always going to be the last Thursday of every November) we made it to your Brooklyn family to have amazing food and some football. You played around and walked around with the assistance of your walker toy.
We had a good time and before long it was time to get in the car and make our way back to the Bronx. Lol. By the time we got to my uncles house the food was done but family was still in abundance! I swear I couldn't keep you in my hands for longer than 5 seconds. I came in and someone grabbed me as I greeted everyone. I would get you back and another person would snatch you right up. Lol. But it was a great time.


On Friday it was back to Brooklyn! Simply to hang out and eat left overs, you were the star of the show as usual.
But this was the day that it happened. You were playing with your walker toy and in an instant you took two steps from the coffee table over to your mother on the couch. I caught it out of the corner of my eye but instantly realized what was going on! It was such an amazing feeling to witness such a milestone moment in your development. I wish I had seen it more directly but I saw it how I saw it and I'll be sure to have a camera on you next time.


The day like all days do, came to an end. We came home and then yesterday back to Brooklyn it was lol. We went for a baby shower. Funny because it was exactly one year to the day after your baby shower. Meaning it was also the day you turned 11 months old. November 28th in case you don't feel like doing gr math by the time you read this. Lol


But now we are back home hanging out. We'll be here til it's time for Daddy to go do some photo shoots. Hopefully you're up when I get home and I can come shoot you as well. We need pics to put up for your first Birthday. Daddy loves you so much baby. And I'll have your back regardless of whatever til the moment I take my last breath.

FFZ.

Thursday, November 12, 2015

Strawberry Milk

Hey baby. So daddy is officially at work at his new job. 4-12 shift. It sucks cause I don't get to see you before bed, but it's cool cause I get to spend time with you during the day. I guess that'll work too you start school. Let's hope that by then daddy is a big time photographer that sets his own schedule
Apparently you took a few steps on your own at the babysitter yesterday but the story is shaky. Not doubting it just didn't see it for myself and can't necessarily trust the source as it came from several different mouths. (One day I'll teach you the game of: 'Telephone')

But anyway. Hanging out with you these passed couple of days has been so dope. It only sucked cause mommy had to work over time at work the whole time I've been out of work/at my new job. All until today. So today we got to hang out as a family for a while. You'll never realize it, but I live for these days. I woke up to whatever noise you and your mommy were making. Mommy's Puerto Rican so she can't help to make noise. And you're a half Puerto Rican baby so basically I'm doomed in the noise department. Lol.

But it was all good. We hung out til about 1pm which is about the time I had to start getting ready for work. I have to leave early to be able to get out in front of traffic. You and mommy had plans. You were going to see venues for your first birthday party which is really in just a few weeks.
At lunch, as usual I sent mommy a text and amongst all else she told me that you tried some strawberry milk and absolutely loves it. She said you got strawberry wasted and knocked right out.
I swear when she told me that, she took me back to being 6 years old. I used to LOOOVE strawberry milk. In fact it was the only way to get me to drink milk. Grandma (my mom) would put it in a bottle (I used a bottle til I was 7, don't judge me) and it would be my after school treat and bed time snack. Lol. So it's no wonder that here we are some 22 years later and my baby loves it just as much.
But I still find it funny how these things work.... Some religions and lifestyles believe that we choose our parents. I do believe that. I feel it makes sense. My add on to the belief is a question: 'how long do we know that we will be our parents children?'

When I was 6 years old and I didn't even know your mother existed did you already know?: "that's gonna be my daddy, he's drinking strawberry milk, hmmm, I think I'll see what that's about. I bet I'll like it like he does." You're probably thinking 'Daddy what the hell are you talking about?' Lol. Never mind me baby, it's late and I'm thinking random thoughts. I guess what I'm trying to say is, this is my realization that it's likely we'll have a few if not s lot of things in common. And I for one couldn't be more excited just to see what those things will be. What do you say we talk about it over a nice glass of Strawberry milk!? Lol,

Cheers Zairah, I Love you!!


FFZ.

Thursday, October 29, 2015

Silver Linings

Hey baby. Sorry daddy hasn't had time to post any new updates but you know I've been keeping track of all your progress in my head. I don't miss a moment!!
So apparently on the 15th of this month: you said momma! Lol. Funny how I said "I don't miss a moment" and then start the next paragraph with "apparently" right? Lol. But there is a reason.
You mommy and myself were in IHOP having dinner and the moment came when mommy had to take you to the bathroom and change your diaper. When she returned to the table with you in her arms she tells me with excitement: "She said Momma!!" I smiled and agreed  however I wasn't there to validate your use of the word lol. But I know mommy has no reason to make that up.
So in other Zairah news. Or in all Zairah news because that's what this is all about. Lol. You blow kisses now! It's the cutest thing in the world. Sometime last week or two weeks ago I went to pick you upbeat the babysitter and she told me that you learned to blow kisses. She demonstrated it and you did it. As always, me being the Zairah groupie that I am, I was overwhelmed with excitement. I couldn't wait to tell everyone and show them myself. You've been blowing kisses to everyone. When it's time to say bye we all day "Muah!" And you out your little hand to your lips and throw it! I have to get you on video doing it.
You're and expert crawler and climber now. You used to crawl on your belly while pulling yourself forward with your arms. I was taught that it's called a commando crawl. But you've graduated your baby boot camp and you crawl on all 4s like a pro now. In fact your too good. If I take my eyes off you for more than 7 seconds you're on the other side of the house. As for climbing it amazes me how you like to climb up the back of the couch to see yourself in the mirror hung up on the wall. You've discovered how to climb on to mommy and daddy's bed from the floor and right now as I'm typing this you are currently trying to climb up the air conditioner. Your climbing must have something to do with how tall you're getting. I swear, yesterday during your afternoon nap I was looking at you and I thought to myself "A little taller and she's the height of my legs." I'm telling you baby, it is the highest honor watching you grow. Yesterday you stood up on your own for about 3 seconds. I wish I had got a picture but it happened so fast that I froze! Lol
You've been to two football games now. You seem to like em. Your grandpa (mommy's father) has been inviting us to games that his old high school has. I'm telling you they are great games. You don't seem to have a deep interest in it yet, but you definitely seem to enjoy being there with us.
One thing you do seem to have an interest in is Cars!! Hmmmm wonder where that comes from lol.
It's so hard to believe that in just a short 2 months you'll be a year old. It feels like I just brought you home yesterday. And here you are a rough little girl who seemingly isn't afraid of anything. You bite, you pull hair, you slap, and your impossible to scare. Lol. What the hell have mommy and daddy gotten themselves into?!
But we wouldn't have it any other way.
Good news! Daddy got a new job. It pays double what my last job paid and I was supposed to start a week ago, but due to some miscommunication the date got pushed back. So rather than work at my current job passed the date I told them I would to make a few extra checks, daddy decided to spend 2 weeks off with you. I've been your babysitter for a week and now and today is day one of the second week. I can't tell you how happy I am baby.
I figured that it may be years before I have an opportunity to spend 2 weeks off from work, let alone with you. So here we are. You and mommy give my life so much meaning baby and I will always love you for it.
Well duty calls! You're just about to start to do too much. You're already all over the place and pretty soon it'll be time to feed you again. Until the next post! I love you baby!!
FFZ.
x

Sunday, September 20, 2015

Your First Word!!

September 17th a day that shall live on in infamy. I've been waiting for eight months for this moment, for the moment that you would speak your first words. Well The wait has come to an end, you've spoken your first words, and those words are…dahdah dada!!! 

Your mother and mine are both in the kitchen, HATING!!! Lolol. Words don't even begin to have the power to explain this feeling of joy I have right now. 

A week and some days short of your 9 months and you're already spittin out words!!! MmmmmOh my God!! 

Yesterday while you were watching that God awful 'Peppa Pig' I thought you had said it. But when I asked you "Did you just say Dada?" You smiled gave me the shy laugh and didn't say anything at else after that. So then today I was holding you as you seemingly fell asleep in my arm. You being the big sleep fighter that you are. You realized that you were falling and decided that you were cocoons combat it with the word you knew that you had learned. You gazed at me and said "Dada...." And when I looked you were looking at me like "Yeah, I said it" written all over your face and you smiled. I picked you up and stood you on your feet ok my lap. I asked again "Did you just say Dada? That's what you said yesterday too right? You've been saying Dada!" You laughed and then you repeated it about 50 times! I lost my cool!!! 

Your mom was in the kitchen being domestic. I have no clue what she was doing and. Didn't care. I was too excited to. Your mom was standing over there front in like she didn't hear my DJ Zairah shout out!! Lol but she heard it tho. She was just mad that those D's weren't M's! Lol

There's nothing else to say or document. At or around 8:40-45pm on September 17th, 2015 your first word was spoken! 

I love you more than words baby!


FFZ.