Emotional Rollercoaster

Good Morning baby girl,

Today is exactly two weeks since the date of my last post. I've gone back and forth debating whether or not I was going to even make this entry. But I guess I wouldn't be doing you any favors keeping anything serious from you and I take it that by the time you're old enough to read this it'll be time to have the talk with you about losing loved ones anyway.

So here goes:
This summer was a really tough one for me and your uncle Rudy, baby girl.
I try to find the silver lining in everything but some things need more than a Band-Aid and time to heal from. By now you're wondering what the hell I'm talking about.

So...
Lets go back to the top of July, I was still in a state of excitement and slowly coming down from the high of proposing to your mommy. (She said yes obviously, because I'm the Bee's Knees!) and also excited because we were a few days away from my 3 week leave of absence from work to stay with you while Belkys was away on vacation.
But none of that would take place before the 7th of July. It was a Saturday. Grandpa, Grandma, uncle Rudy and I had been discussion what was going to be down with Juno. She had already been showing advanced signs of old age and diminished health in her last couple of weeks. We never sat down and actually discussed what we would be doing, but the general thought was that we would have to start saying our good byes because our big girl didn't have much more time.
So on that Saturday morning we all went to Grandma's house where we met with uncle Rudy. Grandpa, Uncle Rudy and I had to take Juno to the vet for the last time.

We had Juno for 10 years, in fact I still remember the day I got her. It was an April in 2008. Grandma and Uncle Rudy were in Honduras at the time and I couldn't go (I'm sure it was because I was broke) and my good friend Dwayne had told me that his uncle's dog had just had puppies that he was selling.
I remember being told that the dog was a Blue Nosed Male Puppy, only to arrive at his uncles building to find that by that, he meant 4 month old, slightly bigger than expected brindle female puppy.
Talk about false advertisement lmao. I almost didn't take her, but he came out of the apartment placed her on my shoulders so as to carry her very heavy frame and she began to lick me. I couldn't turn her down. I paid the man his money and headed out with Dwayne to a cab back home where I had already purchased her food bowls and her leash, choker (which I only used a handful of times) food, and a whole bunch of other miscellaneous dog stuff.
When grandma got home she was LIVID that I had gone behind her back to get a dog. Even threatened to have her taken away, a fight that she had previously won the first time uncle Rudy and I conspired together and found ourselves with a pet Pitbull. Lol
Uncle Rudy on the other hand was giving me a million Hi-5's in his head excited that we finally got what we always wanted, a pet dog! Even Grandma and Grandma grew to love Juno.

 I remember a few hours after you were born, I brought home one of your blankets from the hospital to give to her. It was so that she would become familiar with your scent and already be comfortable with you once we brought you home and she was definitely comfortable with you. All throughout your mommy's pregnancy Juno was by mommy's side making sure she was ok, and she continued to stand guard throughout all your days of infancy. She would be so protective of you and would be ready to check anyone who go too close without our consent. Not that you were ever in danger, but she didn't know that and she damn sure did her best to make sure you were safe.
Once you got a little older and could run and play she would love to play with you until you'd make her tired (which wasn't easy) at which point she'd go to her bed or go and hide from you somewhere. You two were great friends.

So naturally, it was quite possibly the hardest thing short of losing a human family member that I've ever had to do when it was time to walk her out of the house for the last time, knowing that she wouldn't be coming back with us.
We took her to the vet, no one spoke the whole car ride there, while there and the only thing to break the silence was the very loud cries of me and your uncle Rudy. It was terrible baby. But we knew it was something we had to do.

There's many days where my mind wanders and finds me thinking about her, missing her, hoping she is behaving herself in doggy heaven with all our loved ones. In fact, it's possible she left when she did in order to prepare for the biggest loss of my entire life!

But that's enough for one post. I'll break it down further next time.

R.I.P

Juno "Baby" ThaGod

Dec. 18th, 2007 - July 7th, 2018 

Forever in our Hearts



FFZ.