Being a Father

What's going on baby girl?

Daddy's at work sad that he can't be with you and mommy in Brooklyn this week but he's at least happy that he got to sleep with the 2 of you last night.

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday and he asked me: "What's it like being a father?"

Naturally I responded with all the cliches. "Its amazing, I love my daughter so much. She lights up my life" and just because they are cliches doesn't mean it's not true. Because you truly are all those things. However after the conversation was done I stopped and taught to myself 'how complicated a simple question could be.'

Let me explain why I say that. What I mean by that is it's only been 2 months since you've been here and I can barely if at all remember what life before you was like. I mean even before you were physically here you existed in your mothers womb.

Let's go back to 2007.
I was 20 years old. I'll never forget the day that some anonymous number sent me a picture mail. It was a picture of a sonogram.
Keep in mind, back then is when I used to swear to the heavens that I would never have kids.
So naturally I had a mini panic attack! A million things ran through my head: "What the freak is this? Who the freak is this? Please God don't let it be mine, and please don't let this message be coming from --------"
Needless to say I feared that I had slipped up and I needed to get a grip. So I did, I collected my thoughts and I called the number and asked "Who is this?"
It was my cousin Julie. Lol. She was sending out pictures of her sonogram to all of us that day in excitement for her first child, your cousin Jaiden.

Lmao. I think back and I laugh. The thought of having a child back then was so horrifying (and with good reason. I was only 20 years old) but here I am 8 years later enjoying life as a dad.
I could sit here and complain about losing sleep, but who needs sleep when they can stay up and look into Zairah's eyes and rock her to sleep?

So I guess I said all this only to come back to the beginning. Life as a dad is amazing. I find myself being jealous of people when hey hold you lmao. It didn't happen then because it was supposed to happen now!

I love you baby!
You've made my life great.

FFZ.