How Long Are We Parents?

So I'm already thinking that I may turn out to be the kind of dad who's gonna be spending a whole lot of time at home with you. I've realized that I'm at a point where I barely stay up through an entire movie let alone stay up through a party that ends at 6am. Your uncle Rudy can have that! Lol
But really, all I do is go to the movies and out to eat with mommy and I occasionally hang out with your uncles til it's way too late and come home. And quite frankly, I love it. I don't party too much any more cause I'm tired of the crowds, the music sucks and I've always felt that $13 is way too much for a shot glass of liquor and 2 cups full of juice. Lol.

Honestly since I've known that you're coming I've been trying to brush up on all the things I've forgotten that I learned in elementary. I think about it and I realize rather than go out and do all the same things I'm already tired of, I rather stay home and be your teacher. I'd rather teach you all that I can while I can. I wanna hang with you and teach you everything from basic math (because the basic level is all I'm good at anyway lol) to knock knock jokes. I wanna teach you about the world as I see it and show you how it's constantly changing. Think about it, by the time you can read this me and Mommy's life will have already changed tremendously just from having you alone. But I wanna teach you about my favorite musician Bob Marley, my favorite rappers, the kind of art I like and I even wanna teach you when boys are running game on you. And trust me they gonna run game! Lol. I want us to work on your penmanship because I truly hate chicken scratch handwriting! You'll see what I mean when we leave your first Doctors appointment.

I think of all this and I think to myself. I HAVE to teach you all these things. Not only because it's my job to ensure that you are a well taught well behaved person in society, but really How long is anyone really a parent. Naturally as you already know we'll be your parents until there is not a single breath left in our lungs. But really how long before you make your first friend? Imaginary or otherwise? How long before we have to put you in school and you have outside influences other than Mommy, daddy and your family? How long before you're physically too big to carry and coddle? Really it's not that long so I have to make sure that the core of who you are is strong.

With that said back to brushin up on fractions and stuff lol. Love you baby.

FFZ. 

Family.... Give you the World

(cont'd)

On Thursday we went to your great grandmas (Mommy's grandmas) birthday get together. It was fun and the food was AWESOME. What am I telling you for right!? You were there. You gotta remember how good that food was. Lol. 

Oct. 18th. 

It was cool cause I got to see your aunt Pia and Claudia and uncle Danny and Stan and of course the rest of the family. 

It got me thinking how in life we tend to gravitate towards one side of our family, either dads side or moms side. But it's natural for a person to want the best for their child and I'm no different. I want you to be raised with the best of both. I want you to be just as close to your aunts Lindsay and Roxana as you are to Pia and Claudia. Just as close to your cousin Dallas as you are to your cousin Riley. She lives in another state but I still want you to be close to Mommy's side and my side of your family! I'm very family oriented baby girl. And I myself grew up closer to my mothers side of the family. I don't want you to be too deep into one side without being just as close to the other. Granted you'll be who you choose to be and there won't be much I can do about that once you reach a certain age but I just want what I feel would be the best for you. And that's a strong backbone developed by the people of your family. 

As of right now I'm in the car with your uncle Danny and aunt Claudia and Danny's cousin headed to a car show in Jersey. I can't wait til your old enough to sit on my shoulder and join us at these shows. Mommy may or may not come because she doesn't care about cars. But just a heads up daddy likes cars. Sneakers, photography, music and art.

Mommy likes music, movies, home decoration, make up, natural hair and other girlie stuff like that. So it seems like you'll have a whole lot of things to be into. 

I guess the point I'm trying to drive home with all of this is I want to give you the world and let you pick which part of it you want to rule! You're daddy's princess and one day you'll be Queen. Just wanna make sure you have all the tools to do the job properly. 

Yesterday (uncle Gil's birthday) was the day mommy became 7 months HAPPY THIRD TRIMESTER! Means that we will meet you very soon. I'm too excited. 

I love you Zairah. See you on about 2 months. Daddy will be the one with the awesome beard! Lol.

FFZ. 

Mommy's Maternity Shoot.. Great Grandma's Job

cont'd

Sept. 29th

So yesterday I took mommy to Shore Haven to take her first set of Maternity Photos. It got me thinking about how I can't wait to take a million different pictures of you! 

Daddy loves photography so you'll probably have a professional photograph taken of you every day of your life!

Taking pics of mommy also reminded me: I told her that I'm gonna teach you a whole bunch of silly faces so that when picture day comes in school you can use one of them and piss the photographer off Ha!

 This was my favorite picture from the shoot

 According to Mommy, she was smiling!

 This was another favorite of mine

 That's you in there baby!

Mommy's belly at 6 months.

 Both our hearts have been placed 

in mommy's belly!

Oct. 10 

Hey Zairah. Daddy and grandma went  to visit your great grandma yesterday. I laughed so hard because all she could do is sigh and say "Oh Lord, what bad luck. This baby is coming into the world AFTER my retirement!" Ha! 

It's funny because that's just an indication of how loved you already are. Baby girl you're already spoiled. Daddy has gotten his hands on a handful of diapers. Friends and co workers have given me and mommy baby clothes, grandma is looking for your "coming home" outfit and we're an entire month away from your baby shower. The people in this world are anxiously awaiting your arrival. I gotta admit it gives me such a warm feeling inside. 

So I tell your great grandma "Don't you worry about that. That child's mother and father both work hard and will continue to work even harder to get her everything she wants and need. All she needs from you is love and big hugs." She laughed, but I could see it in her eyes that in her heart she wants to get up and fill out an application somewhere to get her money up and buy you something. Lol. If that's not love I don't know what is! She's 81 baby, still alive and well, thank God, but she is in no position to work. 

I'll tell you what tho mommy is gonna spoil you and who I feel will be worst than her is grandpa. Yeah he looks and plays the hard role, but if his behavior with Juno is ANY indication of how he'll be with you, you will be very well fed, and you will never want for anything. I hope that when you read this you don't realize what it means and go overboard. Lol! I could just see it all now.

Daddy doesn't play that "Spoiled brat" game, so don't even try it! Lolol. Oh man, I'm so sure I'm lying to myself. Just try to keep that puppy dog face under control baby girl!

FFZ.

Protecting You... Dreams

September 10th

9:30pm:

Hey little baby girl. It's almost bed time and daddy is in bed writing you this on going letter while mommy watches "The Big Bang Theory" we LOVE this show! Hopefully you will too. Mommy seems to think you like SpongeBob Squarepants. And I'm thinking "Pffst, who doesn't like SpongeBob!?"

By the time mommy and daddy wake up it'll be September 11th. Even when you're old enough to read this you'll still be too young to understand the significance of that date but it's a day that bad things happened to our country.

It has me thinking about the world that mommy and daddy are bringing you into. There's so much out here to worry about and I honestly don't know how to protect you from it. Anyone who knows me knows that I am worry and care free and always have been. Rent is due? Ahhhh it'll get paid. Mommy is mad at me because she has a silly dream about me? Ha! Whatever, she's been mad for less and she'll get over it. But now I have reasons to worry. 

Baby girl, you're not even here yet and I'm already worried. What is your teacher going to teach you? Are the kids In Your school gonna be nice to you? Are you gonna be nice to them? Will you be allergic to Juno? (I hope not.) Then there's mommy's pirate potty mouth, and what will I do with myself the day you fall and get a boo boo on your knee. It's like I've been worry free for 27 years just to let it all out now! Lol. 

Listening to myself now, I'm starting to wonder if the question should actually be how do I protect you from my paranoia rather than how do I protect you from the world around us lol. But I can't help it. 

Well regardless of whatever, know this: I will be here behind you for as long as the good Lord grants me life, to protect you from everything I possibly can. From the problems at school down to the monsters under your bed, although trust me, there's nothing there. If there is that damn monster owes me rent! Daddy doesn't play that squater business! Daddy is here for you and he'll be here for as long as he is breathing. 

On a lighter note I'm so excited to meet you. I wanna know what you like, what makes you laugh what makes you smile. I wanna know what kind of sneakers you'll like when daddy takes you to the sneaker store. Above all else, I cannot wait to hold you! I smile just thinking about it. 

Man, for now I just have to wait a few months before all of this is put into place. Til then: Love you Zairah. Mommy loves you too. See you soon. 

Dreams. 

I been dreaming about you baby girl. In my dreams your the most beautiful baby that I've ever seen and you're such a daddy's girl. You come up to me with the wonder of the world in your eyes and a smile that could make one of those guards in England with those ridiculous hats break concentration. Lol

In my last dream I remember you standing in between my knees as I sat. You were smiling at me because of something I had said. It reminded me of when I speak to you through Mommy's belly and then she feels you move!  

I can't wait til my dreams become reality and I can hold you. I hope you think I'm a cool dad, cause mommy is the square, it would be a shame for you to think we both are! LMBO

FFZ.