Easter Weekend/Your Ear Piercing

Hey baby

So last weekend was Easter. What is Easter? Well (according to the bible and Christianity) it is the story of the crucifixion and death of Jesus Christ and his resurrection after a few days. But somehow, someway, society found a way to turn it into a day of Bunnies, colorful eggs, new Jordan's and big church hats. It's just like Christmas. The bible says one thing and people turn it into something completely different. This is one of the many reasons why daddy doesn't follow religion. But that's a completely different story and we're not here for that.So back to you. Mommy of course got you all dressed up real nice with a pretty little dress and some cute shoes etc. She put on a nice sweater over a blouse or something and I of course...... I wore some blue jeans, a white T-Shirt and some 10 year old (Dirty) "Easter" Air Force 1 sneakers with a backwards hat. Mommy was livid because I wouldn't wear a button up shirt tucked into my slacks, but daddy has to do what daddy wants to do. Lol.

We didn't go to church but we did make it our business to go to Brooklyn to spend time with the family. Grandpa was there, great grandma and of course your aunts uncles and cousins made it. Lol. You were the star of the show as you always are. It was a beautiful day spent with family.
That Monday came and it was back to the usual for mommy, daddy and baby. We went to work and you went to the babysitter.

Work was work nothing to report. I was just counting down the minutes til 4pm so that I can get on the road and go pick up my baby girl.When I got to the babysitter I had the bright idea of getting your ears pierced to surprise mommy because I know it's something she wanted for you.So I came home, got the stroller out of mommies car put it in mine and we were off to Fordham road. I went into the place that was recommended to me and waited for the piercer to be done helping some cornfield level cornballs who were pretending to buy some expensive jewelry.
Anyway. One girl used a marker to mark the spot where the ear would be pierced and the lady with the piercing gun came and did her thing.

She pierced the first ear and I immediately felt like complete crap. You cried harder and louder than you had ever cried before. The last time I'd seen you cry was when you got your shots and I couldn't stand it so this was real hard for me. But I went through with it because it was something mommy wanted. You cried for about 3 minutes (although it seemed like a lot more) at the top of your lungs as I unsuccessfully tried to calm you down. I felt guilty that we had only got one ear done so I had considered coming back the next day for the next one. I mean it wouldn't be the end of the world for you to have your left ear pierced alone for one night. But then the other part of me thought might as well get it over with now.

Zairah, again, daddy is sorry. You calmed down and then it was time for the right ear to experience it's fate. You're real smart tho so once I sat you on my lap and the lady got close to your ear you knew what it was and I swear if you could, you would have jumped out of my lap and ran straight out the door. I held you down as well as I could and Pop!! The second one was done. You cried even louder than the first time. And I could tell by your crying that this cry was more than sudden and surprising pain. This cry was "Daddy I can't believe that you could put me through this twice" I vowed in that moment never to do anything like that unless you yourself told me you wanted to do it.
When we finally got out the fresh air was a relief and you stopped crying. I must have apologized to you about 95 time in the matter of 10 minutes. I'm telling you, if you could talk you wouldn't talk to me. You barely looked at me from your stroller as I wheeled you back to the car. When we got to the corner mommy called me and asked where we were. I told her that we went for a walk and that we would be back home in 15 minutes.

We got home and she was on the phone with aunt Claudia. She didn't realize that your ears were pierced yet as I laid you down next to her. Finally after about 3.5 minutes she noticed and yelled out "YOU PIERCED HER EARS" and I thought to myself "Score! Mommy's proud that I made this move for the baby." I said "Yes" and she said to Claudia "Let me call you back"She started crying but not the "I'm so happy this is a beautiful moment" crying it was an "I'm so upset with you, I'm never gonna talk to you again" cry.I couldn't understand what the hell was going on. I finally got her to speak and she tells me that she wanted to be there for you when you got your ears pierced. And would you look at that. I'm such an idiot I made both my girls cry in one afternoon. I was disappointed in myself and then REALLY vowed never to do something like this again.
I was happy that I had pierced your ears but I didn't realize that I had robbed mommy of experiencing a first moment with you.

All in all I guess it wasn't the greatest day. I handed out about 250 Unaccepted apologies between you and mommy!! Again baby, I'm sorry  daddy thought he was doing a good thing. Will this be the last time he messes up? No not by a long shot. But he's gonna try his hardest not to. I love you and it's been a week now. You forgot about the Fordham fiasco by the time we got home that day. You were talking to me again too. So I guess we good. Lol.
I'm telling you this story so that you know that you experienced pain in my presence but not harm. And regardless of anything daddy will always be here by your side through any and all pain and I will still continue to try my hardest to keep you from all harm.

Beside you look amazing in your little earrings. I can't wait to buy you a diamond pair for you to stunt on all the other babies in the building. Lol.

Love you baby.


FFZ.

The First Day of Many Days

Hey Baby.
It;s Monday again, (the weekend is always too short.) Daddy's back to his regular weekly schedule and Mommy is back to work for the first time since the week before you were born.
Man, 3 months already!? Well we had such a dope weekend, at least up until last night when you were fussy for absolutely no reason! I guess if my belief is real then you must have been feeling the separation anxiety knowing that today would be the first day at the babysitters.

This morning was weird lol. I went from (3 months of) riding into work by myself knowing that you were home with mommy to now riding in with mommy knowing your at the babysitter's house. I mean don't get me wrong I am 100% confident with who we left you with because she has been a friend of the family for almost 20 years, in fact she used to watch me and your uncle Rudy. But still, I guess I'm just realizing that time is moving faster than I am willing to admit or accept.

Pretty soon I'll blink and you'll be putting on a uniform to go to school, coming home with homework and all that other stuff! Lol, but let me not rush it. I am still living in the now. Just want to let you know baby that I love you. And I really hope that you are not giving Belkys a hard time as she watches you. Lol.

Other than that, theres not much to report!
We took an awesome picture this weekend:

It was another 100+ likes on IG and close to 200 on Facebook. Lol

You were out with Mommy on Friday and because your mommy cannot resist walking into a Target when she sees it, she found this once and sent me a picture of it! Before it was finished downloading to my phone I told her to buy it so that you and I could take this pic! Awesome isn't it?!

You were real cool about it for about 10 minutes! After that it was Cry Baby Cry Baby! Lol. I don't think you like taking pics, which I'll be honest may create a lil beef in our relationship! Lol, nah not really, but yeah maybe a little. Who knows!

Anyway, Happy 3rd month birthday baby! I love you, please slow down on the growing up!

FFZ.

Edit:

I just picked you up from the baby sitter for the first time. I asked for a full report. "Did she poop? Did she spit up or throw up? She didn't give you a hard time did she?" LolIt's a funny thing being a parent. I'm already worried that you're not giving anyone a hard time. But when I walked in you were being fed and apparently you behaved as well as you always do.When we got home we didn't get comfortable. We went inside got Juno, got your stroller out of Mommy's trunk and you joined me in taking Juno for a walk for the first time. There's no doubt (and there never has been) that you are truly my daughter. Cause I can't hang either. Lolol.

Just wanted to log this so that we remember the first time you took your first dog for a walk. And for the record don't be afraid to push Juno out of your way. She be playing you close sometimes. She doesn't mean any harm though you can always be sure of that!!FFZ.

Being a Father

What's going on baby girl?

Daddy's at work sad that he can't be with you and mommy in Brooklyn this week but he's at least happy that he got to sleep with the 2 of you last night.

I had a conversation with a friend yesterday and he asked me: "What's it like being a father?"

Naturally I responded with all the cliches. "Its amazing, I love my daughter so much. She lights up my life" and just because they are cliches doesn't mean it's not true. Because you truly are all those things. However after the conversation was done I stopped and taught to myself 'how complicated a simple question could be.'

Let me explain why I say that. What I mean by that is it's only been 2 months since you've been here and I can barely if at all remember what life before you was like. I mean even before you were physically here you existed in your mothers womb.

Let's go back to 2007.
I was 20 years old. I'll never forget the day that some anonymous number sent me a picture mail. It was a picture of a sonogram.
Keep in mind, back then is when I used to swear to the heavens that I would never have kids.
So naturally I had a mini panic attack! A million things ran through my head: "What the freak is this? Who the freak is this? Please God don't let it be mine, and please don't let this message be coming from --------"
Needless to say I feared that I had slipped up and I needed to get a grip. So I did, I collected my thoughts and I called the number and asked "Who is this?"
It was my cousin Julie. Lol. She was sending out pictures of her sonogram to all of us that day in excitement for her first child, your cousin Jaiden.

Lmao. I think back and I laugh. The thought of having a child back then was so horrifying (and with good reason. I was only 20 years old) but here I am 8 years later enjoying life as a dad.
I could sit here and complain about losing sleep, but who needs sleep when they can stay up and look into Zairah's eyes and rock her to sleep?

So I guess I said all this only to come back to the beginning. Life as a dad is amazing. I find myself being jealous of people when hey hold you lmao. It didn't happen then because it was supposed to happen now!

I love you baby!
You've made my life great.

FFZ.

Your First Road Trip... Valentine's Day

February 16th.

Hey baby. Here we are back home again. You are asleep on daddy's chest. You've just been fed, burped and now you and mommy are both competing in the snoring Olympics while daddy watches "Night at the Roxbury" Lol! What's that!? Oh, it's a hilarious movie that we will watch together in a few years. Lol

But we're back from Pennsylvania where you spent the weekend with us and your grandma. (Mommy's mommy)

On Friday you and mommy came and got me after work and we began our 2.5 hour road trip. At least I think that's how long it was. We arrived and we checked into the hotel where we were staying, dropped out bags, changed you and then headed to grandmas house. It was getting s little late but we ate and hung out for a few and then headed back to the hotel to get some rest.

You slept through most of the night as always....
Saturday morning came and daddy was anxious to see the look on mommy a face when she would finally see the gift I got her.
She didn't realize that I had put it on the night stand right next to her side of the bed. When she finally saw it she was over joyed and she then gave me my cards from her and from you. Honestly baby girl, if daddy weren't such a thug, he'd cry from the words on those cards!! Lol. But they were beautiful and once that was out of the way it was time to go get some breakfast.

But not before we took a special picture. There's a producer who I'm a fan of that you'll one day learn about named Pharrell Williams and he has a picture that I wanted to recreate last time we were in the hotel but mommy hated on me.

But this time I had the idea of doing it again, but with you in it.

We succeeded. Lol. And I cannot wait to print this out and hang it on the wall!

We got back together with grandma and went to a diner that's serves some bomb ass French toast. (I can't wait for you to be old enough to enjoy solid foods.)
You were one of 3 babies in our section but none received more attention than you.
"Oh my God, how beautiful" "How old?" "Oh my God, all that hair" "She's so precious" these were all the things coming from everyone in a 3 foot radius. Lol

We've been blessed with the cutest baby ever!! Lol.
So after breakfast we got back in the car and went to the mall. I have no clue what we were looking for but we spent 6 hours in there. Lol. I fell in love with a pair of sneakers that I wanted for myself, mommy and you! But I couldn't find them in the entire mall. I was pissed. But I did buy this ridiculously fly Polo outfit and we got you a few things as well. You started to get a little restless and it was now time to head back. We came to the hotel to get your things ready. You were staying the night with Grandma while mommy and daddy went on our date.

So we left you and were on our way. While mommy and daddy went to Carrabbas (thee best Italian restaurant I've ever been too) you stayed with Grandma and had a super fun slumber party! She put pins in your hair, took pictures and fed you and you guys hung out and had a blast!

Then Sunday morning came around and it was time to get ready to check out. We went and saw you at grandmas and went back to the mall because mommy had to exchange some shoes she had bought on Saturday. So after a while we got back to Grandmas and got ready to hit the road again.

We got back last night, just in time to watch the All-Star game. We (the East) lost as usual baby. But there's always next year.

All in all it was such an amazing weekend, your first Valentine's Day and mommy and daddy's first Valentine's Day as parents. Your first road trip, and you were great by the way!

This is just one of many firsts and I am looking foreword to all of the others to come.

Daddy loves you baby.

FFZ.

24 Hour Father. Baby and Daddy Time

Feb. 3rd

Hey baby. Remember when I told you to respect your mother!? Well I told you that because I know (like by now I know you know) that it's because of everything a mommy goes through on a day to day basis. 

Today I decided to play hookie from work. (It was Mommy's idea -- and because I let her peer pressure me into calling out of work,(something I never allow to happen) I'll give you one free cut day when you get to High School.) but calling out proved to be the best thing that could have happened cause mommy got sick, literally over night. 

So it was daddy to the rescue. Neither one of us wanted her to get you sick so rather than hanging out with my girls it was just me and you! For the first time since you've been here you were solely my responsibility. I had to feed you, change you, burp you, clean you, etc. And repeat. Lol

I'd be lying to you if I said I kept a smile on my face the entire day because there was about 5% there when you would not stop crying and I had no clue what it could possibly be that had you upset. 

See this is what mommy goes through on a regular basis. And I know that but to experience it is a completely different ball game. One I regretfully admit I wasn't fully ready for. The whole difference between learned knowledge and applied knowledge thing. This is why I make it my business to come straight home from work. This is why my weekends are no longer spent with friends or even family but rather dedicated to you and mommy. This is why it's been hard to convince me to hang out frivolously in the last month. It's because I know all that mommy is going through while she is home with you while daddy is at work and so I want to to do the best I can to relieve her from her duties whenever I can.

Feb. 8th

Yesterday mommy took time for herself. I was so happy she did too, because it seems like she hasn't wanted to have some for quite some time. 

So while she went to get her hair and nails done it was Zairah and daddy time again!! I'd like to think I did better yesterday than I did the first day. In becoming more and more comfortable with watching you without the warden..... I mean mommy being around Lolol. She wasn't gone long but it was all okay cause it's not really rocket science figuring you out. 

I fed you a few times, changed you and let you take your nap which is time I took to nap myself and I even managed to squeeze in some Grand Theft Auto V! Yeah boy! While you were asleep I put a few heads to bed!! Lolol. 

Last night we took you to your first party! Your aunties baby shower. You slept through the whole thing. Which really doesn't surprise me whatsoever. You're real rude in that sense. Lol. You could be up all day and as SOON as people come around its nap time for you. Your ain't Claudia real wasn't happy with the fact that you slept the whole time she had you! Lolol

And now this morning here we are again. Daddy and Zairah on another world wind adventure. (We should get our own 'TailSpin' style cartoon! -- TailSpin is way way waaaaay before your time so I don't expect you to understand.) Mommy went to meet up with her friend Eli from work. It's been close to 2 months since she's had the chance to hang out so you and I are really happy she's gettin out a little. Now let's pray she brings us home some good food. 

You're asleep which gives me a few minutes to tend to Juno but you'll be up with a vengeance soon screaming from hunger! Lolol. 

But overall I'm just super happy that mommy is getting some free time and that you and I are hanging out more. Can't wait til you can speak and we can do this on a more 2 way basis!!  Lol

Love you baby! 

FFZ. 

P.S. Here's a pic of us at the baby shower last night. Your aunt Pia took it! She's a better photographer than I am for the beauty that she captures!!

P.S.S.

Dear God,

Thanks a million times over for both blessing me with and making me the head of this beautiful family!

The Ride Home

Hey baby girl. I'm lying here on the couch as you sleep on my chest. I swear I could lie here forever!! Your perfect baby smell, the weird baby noises you make, your baby soft hair touching my face; It all make me deaf to Juno crying because she wants to go outside. (Why the hell has no one walked her?)

Anyway. You had a few visitors this week and you also went to Brooklyn to meet your great grandma. My uncle Elvis was one of the visitors you had and o was happy he came to see you. He always has stories that I look forward to hearing. 

He was telling me about the day he and my parents brought me home from the hospital after I was born. He told me how it was the longest ride home ever. (Keep in mind I was born in Lincoln hospital and it's literally 10 minutes from where we lived at the time.) Uncle Elvis told me that it was a long trip because my dad wouldn't drive any faster than a few miles per hour. He remembered as he told the story "I realized" he said "This is a fathers love. He may not be the most talkative person in the world but him driving so slow was what told me that he was already being protective of you"

I thought it was amazing! I didn't know that story, but believe me I could easily relate. He was 27 when he had me, (his first born) 27 years later I was coming home with my first born driving just as slow as he did in the story. Lol. 

The speed limit is 25mph now but on average people still drive anywhere between 35-40mph and I'm no exception, but on Tuesday, December 30th when we brought you home  from the hospital, I not only said my usual prayer for traveling mercy and proceeded to drive home from Manhattan to the Bronx doing close to 20mph. Ha! Some asshole African cab driver (don't say asshole--that's a daddy word) even honked his horn at me as if I was inconveniencing him driving at 18-25mph with my hazards on. Lol. I didn't care. There was. I traffic. He had all the room in the world to go around me. Anyway. I got you home safe and in one piece. Funny how history repeats itself. How nature brings things full circle. My father and I, both at 27 experiencing fatherhood for the first time and thinking to ourselves: "Drive slow man. No need to hurry. It's more important to get this baby home safe than to get it home fast" lol. 

I just loved the story and had to share it with you! 

I love you baby, your mommy has arrived with my White Castle burgers and that means I'm putting you in your rocker til I'm done. 

Lolol. 

FFZ.

16 Days!

1.3.15

8:24am your belly button just fell off baby!!!! Exactly 6 days after your date of birth!!

1.13.15

You're 16 days old today baby! Getting a darker complexion every day!

These passed 16 days have been amazing. You've had many visitors, and sometimes you even opened your eyes for them. Lol

You've made sleeping a challenge for mommy and daddy, "Please go to sleep Zairah" has become a regular part of our monologue! But even on our late nights with you testing out the capacity of your lungs and mommy and daddy dealing with blood shot eyes and wanting to cry themselves, we are so grateful! 

Last night you wouldn't go to sleep and I woke up to relieve mom from the night shift. There was nothing on but the TV and that was on mute. There was just enough glow coming from the TV to illuminate your beautiful face as you lied facedown on daddy's chest. (You love lying there--and I could keep you there all day smelling your full head of hair.) I swear for a few seconds while you weren't crying you looked me in my eyes. I would pay a large fortune just to know what you were thinking! I know what I was thinking: "Look at me, an ogre, and I made this beautiful little thing, does she know I'm her father? Does she love me? Does she feel safe with me? I hope she knows I'm here for her forever!! From her first steps, first words, first tooth to her first day of school, first heartbreak, first job etc!" 

I guess I can only imagine what thoughts went through your head. I can only hope they were similar to mine "Look at this Ogre" as you tugged on my beard with that ninja grip of yours. You wouldn't believe how strong you are baby! You easily push yourself up with your legs when you feel daddy is holding you too low, and the other day you even took the pacifier out of your mouth to say bye to daddy! 

Your smile makes me melt, and it's a reminder that pretty soon I'm gonna be emptying out my bank account spoiling you with everything I can think of. 

All in all I'm just writing to say how much I love you. How much I can't stand the fact I have to leave you and mommy behind to come to work, and how much I can't wait to get home to see you, hold you and give you kisses!! 

I'll see you in 8 hours sweetie. 

Daddy loves you. 

FFZ.